Tag Archives: adoption agency

Adoption Education

I had almost drifted off to sleep when someone in the front seat of the car said; “OH, did you hear So and So are going to ADOPT”. This was followed by abundant cheers from the other passengers along with the usual “it’s about time” and “oh, good for them they have wanted a baby for such a long time” etcetera etcetera. Of course the conversation continued and joyous details were shared. They are adopting from Russia, using an agency, going through home study, how the great expense is so worthwhile, followed by a lengthy discussion on the unreasonable adoption requirements of foreign countries.

I forced my eyes to remain closed and my mouth to remain shut.

Then someone asked the question I just knew was coming; why aren’t they adopting from here? This was followed by the usual uneducated rhetoric we have all come to know far too well. I trust I don’t even need to fill you in on what was said.

Still, I kept my mouth shut.

Then someone started talking about how they had seen on Oprah that women in Africa were having babies for people here in the states. That it was a win/win situation for all involved as these young women received more money than they had ever known to support their families and some childless couple from here got the baby they had always wanted.

“God works in wonderful ways.”

Oh for the love of PETE! That did it. TOTALLY against my will my eyes opened and the uncontrollable response spewed from my lips; HUMAN TRAFFICKING IS. NOT. OF. GOD.!!!

A great and heavy silence ensued. This was followed by a very meek request from the front seat that I explain myself. With a deep, regretful sigh I embarked on the journey knowing full well that once you begin down this road you can’t stop until you arrive safely on the shores of reason. Which can take a good long while. Dispelling life long social myth is such a monumental undertaking it just drains you of any and all energy you may have. The worst part is knowing full well that sometimes you are successful and sometimes you are not, that long held beliefs are hard to dispel in one conversation and that you always walk away never quite sure if you have been at all successful.

There are times when I just wish the uncontrollable necessity I feel to educate people on the subject of adoption would just take a flying leap. Sometimes I just wish my eyes and my mouth could just stay shut.

The next day though I got to spend the entire day with my favorite ULB which of course totally made up for all adopt o’ talk with the uneducated. I loves me some ULB.



Filed under Adoption Schmoption, Truthful Musings

Scary Prank “PAP” call

I  am still manning the AF phone lines (ahem….any volunteers?). I get plenty  of legit calls but I usually  have to  wade  through some crap  every  time I  check the messages. I would like to mention that I  CLEARLY state on the answering  machine that AF is a SUPPORT org.  and NOT an agency  and yet  we still  get calls from  pap’s asking for help adopting a baby. I had one woman who actually left a detailed message saying  she wanted  a white, healthy boy child with blue eyes, no older than two. Preferably within  six  months. I  am NOT kidding. I threw up a little in my  mouth while listening to her message.

Yesterday I received the following prank call. The girls are young, maybe 7  or 8? No mistaking their youth. I wish I was more tech savvy so I  could post this prank  call for you to actually listen to. As  it stands  I am not, so I will have to  do this transcript style.

Check this out:

“Hi, I’m Brittney”

“And I’m Whitney”

“We  wanna’  adopt  a girl.”

“We are a lesbian couple  and we really  REALLY want a daughter”

“Yea, and we are 28 so  we  can get one. We can  get whatever we want WHEN we want cause’ our daddy’s are RICH!”

“Please call  us back as soon  as  you can”

“Yea, cause’  we want a baby now”


“Hugs and kisses”


At first you want to laugh right? Kids will be  kids and all of that. But the more you sit with this (and it doesn’t take long) the more disturbing it becomes.

Those  of us here in blogland scream about  the state  of adoption affairs and yet we are rarely listened to by  those who actually  need to listen.  What will  it take? How about  the fact  that our young  CHILDREN seem to CLEARLY get what adoption has turned into?

When we talk or write of entitlement we often get the same old tired response; “What do  you meannnn by  saying we feel entitled?” “I don’t understannnnndddd!” Why  DON’T you understand? These 8 year olds understand! What is so freaking complicated about it?  Adoption isn’t about providing  homes for children in need anymore.  It is (in most instances, not all) about providing babies to people  who “need”  them. Babies have become a  marketable commodity and the adoption process has turned corrupt. Period. What is so difficult  to understand? Money CAN buy you love…. or at least it can buy  you a baby.

I think it is insanely STUPID that our adult  population won’t can’t seem  to grasp this but  our CHILDREN CAN!


Filed under Adoption Politics, Adoption Schmoption, Adoptive Family