Sean Goldman

“It is like a nightmare for David Goldman, except that when he wakes up, it is still there. His son Sean, abducted to Brazil by the boy’s mother four years ago, remains almost in sight but always out of reach, in defiance of the laws of two nations and the world.”

“Goldman had been traveling to Brazil for every court hearing that ruled against him over the years. He went again, only to discover that his late wife’s Brazilian husband had filed a petition with local family courts to remove Goldman’s name from Sean’s birth records and replace it with his own.”

“Now, the question is how a person who is not related by blood to Sean can erase Goldman’s name from his son’s birth records.”

That is an excellent question NBC. An excellent question indeed.

Bring Sean Home.


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Filed under Adoption Politics, Open Records

“Hater” is kind of strong don’t you think?

I was going to let it go too. But everyone knows no self respecting hippie-type can be called a hater and let it go. I am all about the love man!

Apparently all of the attention you received from all of us ingrates has caused you much wailing and gnashing of teeth. It’s not easy seeing being green. Before your personal blog was protected from the wolves I could see that you definitely have people in your corner. There was a lot of this; “oh dear don’t let the haters get you down” and “they’re just bitter, angry adoptlings who come from gawd awful situations” and “you are a good parent (pats on the head) so don’t let anyone tell you different because you are doing God’s work” bull. As though this has anything at all to do with what kind of parenting skills you have.

You see it really doesn’t concern me how often you volunteer at your kids school or how many brownies you can bake in a day and I don’t hate you, I don’t even know you. I do have a huge problem with the business you are in though and THAT I will not mince words about. Like I said in my comment section nothing pisses me off more than people selling babies in the name of God.

I see the two “non-profits” you work for (run by Malcolm and Amy Young) also have a blog to further advertise their marketable product. I see that there you can also get up to the minute “situations” so I guess it’s good to check back regularly?

Here are just a few of the situations available next month;

African-American Boy, 2/17/09,SC, $21K

African-American Boy / Girl Twins, $33K, 2/1/09

Yes, I did notice that you get a discount if you buy two.

Be sure to ask about the minority discount!

I do have a question though. Is publicly advertising an infant for tens of thousands of UNNECESSARILY CHARGED dollars and basing that price tag on race considered human trafficking? I guess not as long as you throw in the word Christian.

Obviously my friend what I have failed to recognize is that if you preface your business with the word Christian and throw in some key bible verses for good measure all of this blatantly obvious marketing of human beings miraculously becomes- God’s work.

So sorry to have hurt your feelings my dear. Please go about your BUSINESS! And now that  you know I don’t hate you please do try to get some sleep.

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Filed under Adoption Politics, Adoption Schmoption, Adoptive Family, Truthful Musings

Situations?

*Thanks to Linda Gambino for drawing this to our attention.

Whenever I read anything like this I am certain it must be a scam because nobody in their right mind could EVER find these “situations” even remotely ethical enough to actually USE an agency like this. Because if they DID use an agency like this they would not be able to sleep at night. They would all die of sleep deprivation. So surely it MUST be a scam. Right? RIGHT?

A Path of the Heart

She actually states in her blog “One of the main reasons we turned to CAC to help us adopt was because we wanted to be sure we were using ethical agencies.”

With that ironic/moronic statement under your belt take a look at this:

Christian Adoption Consultants

They also run this agency-

Hope For Adoption

Dude, sleep much?

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Filed under Adoption Politics, Adoption Schmoption

The Pretender

Regarding my previous post on “grafting” because obviously there is some misunderstanding-

I get that Paul is trying to make his children feel a part of something bigger than themselves, part of the family in a deeper, more meaningful way. I’m not questioning his motives here. What I am saying is that what he proposes (regardless of intention) doesn’t work. You can say something flowery and pretty it up all you want to but that doesn’t make it reality. Regardless of how much you WANT it to be true.

Take my adoptive grandmother for instance. She died before I was adopted. I never had the opportunity to meet her and thus do not have any emotional connection to her other than the fact that she is my amom’s mother. From what I’ve been told she was a pretty amazing woman. I honor and respect her memory but the fact remains that I have no blood connection to her what so ever. No matter how much I may “want to” I can’t own that blood connection.

I am not suggesting here that an adoptee can’t be made to feel that they are a part of their adoptive family unit. My brother is my brother, my dad my dad etc… What I AM saying is that the buck stops at pretending we share DNA because we don’t. I am NOT part of their family tree and never will be. The FACT IS my true heritage is and always will be growing on the branch of another tree. The same is true for my children and their children and so on.

Look, all we want, all we have ever wanted, is for society to allow us to stop pretending and simply tell it like it IS. This grafting business is a prime example of the lengths adoptees are expected to go to to fit in. We are tired of being shape shifters and fixers, of burying our feelings for the sake of others. We are tired of trying to be something we’re not. Mostly we are tired of being ignored by the bulk of society when we continually tell you how damaging and absolutely exhausting it is having to live in the land of make believe.

Maybe you can try and understand why so many of us are less than cordial when we talk about it. This uphill climb we are forced to make to simply be who we are would make anybody testy.

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Filed under Adoptee Family, Adoptive Family, Natural Family

Leave My Family Tree Alone

You can find value in Theresa’s posts on ANY given day, she gives a real world, no nonsense POV that smacks you but good. I will admit that that stories she Diggs are usually highly triggering but I read them because it really does no good at all to bury ones head in the sand.

A while back Theresa did a Digg (or is that dugg) on something printed in the Humboldt Beacon entitled Grafting on to the Family Tree. It was written by Paul Rodrigues in response to a straight forward plea for open records written by Mara Rigge entitled Adoptees Discriminated Against. I can’t seem to get Rodgrigues’ response out of my mind. As a matter of fact the more I thought about it the more angry I became.

Rodrigues comments; “Both of them had questions about their roots as it pertained to their adoptive family, and I explained to them that they were grafted onto the family tree, and like a branch that is grafted onto a living tree, it is just as much a part of the tree as one that had grown naturally.

On the surface it’s easy to see why Rodrigues’ response would be triggering but I had to dig (no pun) deeper than the surface to figure out why it bothered me SO much. Then it came to me. This superimposed work of fiction by Mr. Rodrigues epitomizes EVERYTHING that ends up imparting irreparable damage on adoptees . To suggest that an adoptee is simply grafted onto the adoptive family tree is both completely dismissive and entirely disrespectful not only to his children but to each and every adoptee out there.

I wish it worked this way Mr. Rodrigues, I really do. But the fact of the matter is you simply cannot create fact out of fiction. The only way you can effectively assist in working through the unique issues your children WILL face by being adopted is by acknowledging truth and fully supporting them in that very personal journey of self discovery. You do them NO favors by forcing them into a designer pair of rose colored glasses in place of real, honest, roll up your sleeves and get a little dirty….work.

I know as parents we want to protect our children from ever feeling sadness or pain. Unfortunately adoption NATURALLY comes with some measure of both. It’s OK, really. Far better to acknowledge it than force your children to pretend everything about being adopted is perfect. Speaking from experience I can tell you that pretending things are as they are not puts FAR more pressure on your kids than allowing them to acknowledge reality and work through the resulting emotions.

I know PLENTY of adoptive parents who work tirelessly to understand the many nuances of raising an adopted child (just take a look at but a few over to the right listed in my AP links). They try, they fail and then they TRY AGAIN. Just as so many of us adoptees do as we work our way through the labyrinth of the unknown that IS our historical identity. And what our place is in it. You ask too much of us when you suggest we live in a land of make-believe where ones true biological history can be grafted elsewhere. Closet dwelling biological families would do well to grasp this too.

I remember my visit to Ellis Island which I blogged about way back in o6′. This is a place where the blood of our ancestors seeps from the walls constructed in their honor. I ask you Mr. Rodrigues; what honor is there in a lie? The truth may not be a pretty or comfortable place to visit but that is exactly where you will find your children’s dignity.

So as for this whole grafting idea? You are definitely barking up the wrong tree.

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Filed under Adoptee Family, Adoption Schmoption, Adoptive Family, Natural Family

Attn TX

I’m passing it on;

Please pass this on to any of your friends who you believe may be interested.

On Friday, Jan 23rd, 12 noon, until 5:00 pm, please join us below the capitol building on Congress Ave., carrying signs, and marching to restore the rights of Texas Adoptees. On Saturday, we plan on marching from 10:00 AM until 2:00 pm or later, depending on circumstances. I have been told we can not go on the State property with our signs, but we can march on the sidewalks around the capitol. As you know, Congress dead ends right into the capitol grounds. This will be a wonderful place to display our signs!

If you would like to join us in our Adoptees Rights Struggle 2009, please do so. You can email Linda Burns, momoburns@yahoo.com , if you have questions.

Our next march in Austin will be Feb 13-14, where we will have big red hearts and will be asking Gladney to HAVE A HEART.

In April, we will marching in Ft Worth.

We want all Texas adoptees to have equal rights. We want our legislature to change laws that have allowed maternity homes to profit due to sealed records. It is time to make changes to allow every citizen the same rights.

This is not TXCARE related. We are not adoption professionals nor are we experienced protesters. We are just everyday people asking for our State to grant Civil Rights to our Texas adoptees. The marchers will consist of birth families, adoptees, and adoptive families. All members of the Texas adoption triad believe adoptees civil rights are being violated.

We are hoping that if you can not join us, that you will make a sign and be out at the same time we are out here in Austin. If you can march in front of your County Courthouse, or your City Hall, or in front of any public building, it will help all of us. If people see we are wanting change, perhaps we can make progress.

Gladney is the only adoption agency who has fought change. They will be fighting us once again, but if we show our readiness to fight for change, perhaps we can make a difference.

Please join us. We need you!

One of my signs says, “Gladney Violates The Civil Rights of Adoptees” and another says “Adoptees Civil Rights March 2009”. We are hoping that when others understand this is about Civil Rights, they will join us. After all, this is what our country is supposed to be founded on!

Linda Burns
momoburns@yahoo.com

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Filed under Adoption Politics, Open Records

Illegitimati Non Carborundum

I have been reading all of the great blog posts surrounding that mind bending interview Sean Hannity did with Ann Coulter. Isn’t it fascinating how much good can actually bloom out of the destructive ramblings of that ego driven madwoman?

In 2006 my husband decided to buy us tickets to the Hannity Freedom Concert at Six Flags. It was explained to me that the concert was to support the Freedom Alliance scholarship funds for the children of our fallen men and women on the front-lines. I am not a fan of country music but I succumbed for the awesome cause. LeAnn Rimes and Montgomery Gentry were to perform. I remember seeing LeAnn on Oprah a hundred years ago when she was just a wee one yodeling her little heart out and I was actually kind of looking forward to seeing her in concert. Not so much the Gentry boys but again it was for a good cause.

As it turned out it wasn’t so much a concert as it was a good ole’ boy boondoggle, a liberal lynching, a full blown right wing RALLY of infinite proportions. Rally roucous raisers included Olly North, Mark Levin, the queen beotch herself Ann Coulter and of course Lee Greenwood singing a heartwarming and gallant rendition of “God Bless the USA” which we all know no respectable republican rally should be without.

Now really try and picture this; I am standing smack in the center of an arena filled to capacity with extreme conservatives cheering madly and foaming at the mouth every time Elisabeth Hasselbeck (The View) showed some leg. OH, did I forget to mention that twit was there too? Yes, it was a real treat I tell you! Anyway, I am dressed in my “feed the hungry” tee, my “PEACE LOVER” baseball cap and flip flops. The only thing I was missing was a giant oak tree to hug . Now that I think about it it’s probably a good thing there was no tree because based on the looks I was getting I probably would have been strung up in it. I began to frantically look around for an escape route when it occurred to me that I was most likely completely surrounded by proud card holders of the NRA and quickly thought better of it.

My husband looked at me with horror in his eyes having clearly grasped the enormous err of his ways and anxiously shuffled his feet as he began contemplating the very long and cold ride home.

I began to hyperventilate. My hyperventilating soon moved to extreme anger though as I listened to Levin spew his message of hate toward liberals. His message was simple; if you are a liberal (which we all know is just freaking synonymous with being a democrat) you are anti-American. He went on to spout complete rhetoric like “when was the last time you met a liberal who supported our troops?” I wanted to scream HEY ASSHOLE THERE’S ONE RIGHT HERE, I’M RIGHT HERREEEEEE !!!!!! But I didn’t (mostly due to the aforementioned gun toting statistic) and I regret it. I really do. I don’t understand why people like that can’t grasp the simple concept that a person doesn’t need the fluff, flags and firearms to be a good American. Nor do they need those things to FULLY support our troops. I AM a good American and I DO fully support the men and women who have bravely decided to defend our country. How many times do we have to tell these yahoos that a person actually CAN support our troops and not support the damn war or even….gasp….the presidents choices? What kind of idiot can’t understand that the ability to speak our minds and HAVE an opinion is what makes this country so great?!

What does this have to do with adoption? You knew it was here somewhere right?

Well when I read the commentary between Hannity and Coulter I had flashbacks of the hateful speech she gave at the concert. Her agenda is simple; hate what you are not. In her case….human.

During the interview Coulter states; “it’s a choice not to give an illegitimate child up for adoption…” I paraphrase here because I’m sure by now most of you have read the entire debacle. If not go here.

I take it personally when the word illegitimate is used. Silly? Maybe. It is after all just a word but it is one that is used to describe not only myself but ALL of my fellow adoptees at one point in our lives. The most important part too I might add; the beginning. Now in the spirit of fairness our status is upgraded once the ink is dry and more importantly it is a valid term taken straight from the pages of the dictionary. Take a look;

*il·le·git·i·mate

  1. Against the law; illegal.
  2. Born out of wedlock.
  3. Grammar Not in correct usage.
  4. Incorrectly deduced; illogical.
  5. Biology Unacceptable as a scientific name because of contradiction to the international rules of nomenclature.

1536, “born out of wedlock,” formed in Eng., modeled on L. illegitimus “not legitimate.” Sense of “unauthorized, unwarranted” is from 1645. Phrase illegitimati non carborundum, usually “translated” as “don’t let the bastards grind you down,” is fake Latin from c.1939. Carborundum was a brand of abrasives (reg. trademark U.S. June 21, 1892, by Carborundum Co. of Monongahela City, Pa.). The compound was made from carbon and silicon; the word from carbon + corundum.

None the less I ask you is it really NECESSARY in 2009 to use such an archaic term (473 years old to be exact) when describing ANY CHILD……EVER?! I mean if anyone should be called illegitimate its Coulter because everything that comes out of that hateful woman’s mouth is; Incorrectly deduced; illogical.

Dear Annie, Can I call you Annie? I just love the irony there. If you were a good conservative you would read your bible and there you would learn that no child is ever ILLEGITIMATELY born into this world. But that insignificant point aside sweetie let me give you some advice; when you wake up every day with the intent to spread your message of anger and hate but just can’t seem to find the energy to face those gawd awful peace loving dredges of society, just remember…… words can’t hurt you! And if you ever begin to question the path you have chosen simply look in the mirror and repeat this mantra;

Don’t let the bastards grind you down”!

*The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth EditionCopyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.

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Filed under Adoption Politics, Media