Celeb Adoptomania and Moronic Adoption Language

I wonder if people truly realize how insulting the following language is to someone who is adopted. Based on comments I have received my whole life I know most people will read it and just get lost in the vision of the end result (I’ll take the Happy Family platter please). Sadly I think very few would understand how this whole thing comes across to an adoptee;

“The couple has come to a conclusion after several attempts of having a baby together. The 30 year-old {Ashton} Kutcher and Demi Moore, 40 have been together for six years and married for three and no baby was on his way even with in vitro fertilization.”

This is my personal fav;

An insider disclosed that “They had always resisted adoption because they wanted a baby of their own, but now everything has changed.”

And now for some completely worn out adoption ideology;

Kutcher has openly revealed that he and Demi have been considering to adopt an orphaned child together. “I have thought about adopting a kid my whole life,” he admitted, adding “When I was eight I had a friend called Terry and one day he told me he was adopted. “

He, furthermore, stated “He said his parents told him there was a more special bond between them because they picked him. I thought that was pretty profound and I would be open to the idea.”

Here is what I read;

Due to many failed attempts at harvesting from their very own orchard and with deep regret they resign themselves to do the next best thing- harvest elsewhere. Feebly disguised as a ride on the “Save An Orphan Train”, their ultimate goal is to procure a replacement baby. They plan to PICK one this summer.

And people wonder why we feel second best.



Filed under Adoption Schmoption, Media, Truthful Musings

13 responses to “Celeb Adoptomania and Moronic Adoption Language

  1. bluestokking

    guh. i agree with your interpretation.

  2. There was one couple in our foster/adoptive training class who would say, “When we weren’t able to have children of our own…” and then tear up a bit, and I was horrified (for that and other reasons) that they thought they were ready to take care of traumatized children. Luckily I noticed the social workers wincing too and I know it was something that was dealt with during their homestudy (and I also know that we got bumped up the approval list to give them more time) but this is such a common mindset.

    I don’t say this to stigmatize or hurt people dealing with infertility; many go through awful pain and work hard to come out healthy, but there’s so much more to it than the quotes you referenced. Then again, I don’t trust tabloid websites enough to be sure that there’s not more going on with Ashton and Demi too!

  3. Oh, and Mia, I didn’t mean my last sentence to imply you’re jumping to conclusions or reading in things that aren’t there. Obviously SOMEONE involved in these articles has this kind of second-best attitude about adoptions. It would be good for any hypothetical kids involved if that turned out not to include the potential parents, but I’m not holding my breath.

  4. I agree with your interpretation, and it makes me very angry.

  5. And somehow this had to do with Obama’s message of hope and change?! I think they might have gotten the campaign message wrong.

  6. It sounds to me that the feel like they’ve been jilted in the media to Brad and Angelina – so obviously their conclusion must be all those adopted kids are what keeps them swarmed by paparazzi! “I gotta get me some orphan babies so I can be famous again!!”

    Hey, it worked for them, it worked for Madonna…..

    These celebs need to GROW UP!!

  7. YUCK! Your interpretation is right on ~ now send it to them : )

  8. I don’t trust tabloids either and always consider the source. However, this attitude is prevalent…everywhere. It’s not uncommon at all.

    This is a very serious problem and I see it all the time. The trauma of infertility isn’t dealt with, the loss is not fully mourned before infertile couples move on to adoption. And I see that when these steps are skipped an adopted child is forced into an absolutely impossible and totally fictional role. The emotional work should be mandatory for PAPs that have faced infertility.

    I saw that one of the reasons Madonna is divorcing Guy is because he would not assist her in adopting another child, and that he had become rather childish and irresponsible lately. Seems to me if he knew they were having problems he is the intelligent one by not wanting to involve another child in their mess. She has skipped countries again with David in tow. I can’t help but think that if Madonna would have assisted Davids father, improving the quality of life for them both, she would have done David a far greater favor than adopting him. Considering his father wanted very much to keep his son. Sigh.

  9. You know, I lost respect for Nicole Kidman when she started going on and on about wanting to get pregnant and I just kept wondering what effect all that talk was having on her adopted children. HELLO?!

    I did go through the infertility mess, but I was also in counseling the whole time and worked through so much. I had a friend who used the “if I can’t have my own,” and I used to say to The Husband that I seriously wanted her to get pregnant more than I wanted me to get pregnant because of her mindset — thankfully she did.

  10. Oh, Mia, that means so much to me.

    I love you back, girl.

  11. Robin


    what BS.

    ps, long time no talk, Mia. Hope you’re well. 🙂

  12. ROBIN! Hey girl! How the heck are ya’? I wish I could have met you all in the city yesterday. Hope you had fun!

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