A one sentence definition of mythology? “Mythology” is what we call someone else’s religion

~Joseph Campbell

There was a very destructive comment made on Private Practice last night that still has me rolling my eyes.

Dr. Cooper says; “I’m adopted but I’ve never searched for my birthparents because my parents were great.”

Where do you suppose this myth originated? And make no mistake it IS a myth. I can buy the idea that if you had parents who were absolutely awful you might be inclined to search sooner but what in the WORLD would make people think that a person who happens to have “great” parents would somehow escape the natural desire to know their origins?!!! Seriously, who in their right mind would believe such a thing? Sadly, this particular myth appears to be assimilated as truth by most adoptees at one point or another.

I would like to believe we could find the origin of this myth simply stems from a misinformed society. I would really rather NOT believe this myth was purposely created and perpetuated by those who swear before God and man to provide us (adoptees) with the best care, both physically and emotionally, that they possibly can. Because that would not be so great.

This myth of course is just one example of many that as adoptees we are spoon fed from birth REGARDLESS if you grew up with a silver spoon or a Taco Bell spork. Unless you live in a cave no adoptee is immune.

Because of the mythical shroud wrapped so tightly around adoption I truly believe most if not all adoptees end up spending YEARS trying to undo the mental hijacking that happens to us from day one. As adoptees we must all go through the dirty job of untangling OUR truths from society’s myths and not a single one of us will escape this fate until society starts telling more accurate stories.

Honestly I think deep down every adoptee intuitively knows that the character of our adoptive parents really has nothing at all to do with wanting to know our origins. I would like to believe that when I hear an adoptee retell this myth that it is simply a case of misinformation having been fed to them by an uneducated public their entire lives and that they will discover the real story some day.

I would like to believe that every adoptee will eventually come to the realization that stories can be retold and at some point find themselves telling a new one created from their very own indisputable truth.



Filed under Adoptive Family, Natural Family, Truthful Musings

5 responses to “Myth

  1. mljd

    how can you say that another adoptee’s feelings, beliefs, experiences etc are myths?

  2. mia

    :oD Amy

    mljd that is actually a great question and I will be happy to tell you exactly how I came to my conclusion. This weekend I am doing major renovation work on my house but if you check back on Monday I will answer your question. Thanks.

  3. You know, I don’t watch that show, but if I had seen it and heard that line, I think I would have felt ill. Physically ill.

    Honestly, it’s like telling people who choose to have a second child, “I guess your first one wasn’t good enough and you needed to try to have a second one who could give you everything your first one couldn’t.” C’mon.

    Such an eloquent and powerful post, Mia.

  4. mljd- Well it’s a tad long winded….ahem….but I answered your question.

    Thanks Paula. Great analogy!

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