As my mother becomes older it is getting more and more difficult to be around her. For many years my parents had the ability to only “do crazy” in front of me. They had Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personalities and could shift into sane mode instantaneously if unexpected company arrived. Quite a talent don’t you think? Now though it seems my mother has lost her ability to shape shift. Or maybe she just doesn’t care to hide her true colors anymore.
While visiting them on Sunday my mom brought up the presidential candidates. She said and I quote “I am not voting for that Bama guy, the last thing we need is a black guy as president.”
Now you must understand that you cannot use logic with my mother. When talking with a relatively sane person you can try and speak logic, maybe get them to see reason, show them how misguided their opinion is. Not so with a mentally unstable person. Not so with a narcissist. They are ALWAYS right. Reason has nothing to do with it.
She goes on to say she can’t stand him and thinks his wife is stupid. STUPID! Oh, that’s rich. She wants Hillary to win but if she doesn’t my mom says she will break her democratic voting streak and vote republican. I am wondering what the moral implication is of me maybe NOT finding them a ride to the polls this year? I can’t stand irresponsible voting.
Apparently my mother in all her infinite wisdom had this same conversation with her in- home care nurse. Her nurse happens to be a very powerful black woman, who obviously has a boatload of patience. My husband joked that he cannot believe my mother hasn’t had her meds switched on her. She just laughed. I told my mom I thought she owed **** an apology but I know that will not happen.
As if it could not get any worse she then tells me she knows “they” aren’t ALL bad. She said “As a child I lived next to a black family and they were very nice but …..(are you ready for this?) …..they were LIGHT.” I kid you not, that is exactly what she said.
The worst part of all of this is that she spewed this crap in front of my kids. My son said to me in the kitchen “I had no idea I had a racist grandma”. Ouch.
As we were leaving, the subject got onto my many faults as it always does. My mom made a huge point to tell everyone just how rebellious I have always been. How I have always marched to my own beat and even brought up my second grade teacher who could corroborate her story about my insubordinate behavior.
Quick background: In second grade I was scheduled to read aloud to the class. I was SO looking forward to it and practiced reading my favorite Amelia Bedelia book in front of the mirror for hours. I wanted to be perfect. On the day I was scheduled to read, my mother went to the school and told my teacher that I was behaving poorly which was causing her “heart condition” ( a constant threat in our home) to become dangerously worse. I was 8 years old. My teacher called me into the hallway and told me I was going to be punished for being bad and would not be allowed to read to the class. I wonder if that teacher ever considered whose heart was really being damaged in that home.
Sorry, I got off track there. Anyway, this time when my mother conveyed to my husband AND MY KIDS what a rebellious person I have always been, instead of tearing me up inside like it usually does all I could think was; THANK GOD I had the strength to rebel!!!! I would hate to think I could have been a weaker person and ended up like her.