Someone STOLE MY CAR right out of my driveway and in broad daylight!!!
Rest assured I took all of the necessary steps to right this very personal injustice. I really felt violated you know? I called the police, filed a report (which they CHARGED ME an exorbitant fee to do) and then waited…..and waited.
The thief was finally caught and I was told I had to show up in court so I hoofed it to the courthouse, fairly certain justice would finally be served and I would get my car back.
GET THIS…….when I showed up I was blown away to find the courtroom filled with people there to testify FOR the asshat that stole my car!!!! I could not believe my eyes.
You’re probably thinking WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?! RIGHT? Hold on, it gets worse.
The thief’s attorney had all of these previously car-less people testify that if I got my car back it would make their lives unbearable. Why you may ask? Well apparently this guy runs a very lucrative used car lot. He buys and sells a LOT of used cars which I guess makes him an authority in the eyes of the car-less. He had somehow convinced all of these (otherwise rational) people who have bought cars from him that if I got my car back they would all be forced to stop driving!!!! As if me getting my car back will somehow make them suddenly unable to drive? These people didn’t even consider standing up for what was right! I am guessing it was their fear of thinking that if I got my car back they would end up taking the bus again. Which is so silly when you think about it.
Just when I thought this circus act couldn’t get any more ridiculous the defense called up this stern looking little chick sitting in the back of the room. She appeared fairly smug which made me sweat a little. She self righteously walked up to the stand, (in the scheme of things it really is a matter of little importance but I feel like mentioning she didn’t need to swear on the courthouse bible because she brought her own.) and proceeded to testify that if I got my car back….
are you ready for this?
……if I got my car back it might make others decide to quit driving all together.
I know! Are you KIDDING ME? What does me getting MY CAR back have to do with what others may or may not do?!!!
I think the biggest slap in the face was when they called up a person that had previously sold their car to the thief. I have no idea who this person was. They were not the previous owner of MY car so what the heck do they have to do with this?! Anyway they sat up there and whined and moaned about how they had sold their car and one day the new owner came back to ask them a few questions (it was never mentioned that she had failed to leave the car’s manual in the glovebox). I guess this guy got rather personal asking her things like how old was the car, what was the make and model, had it been well cared for yada yada….It never occurred to anyone that this guy may just really love his car and wanted to know these things to better care for it. No, I could see it in their eyes, everyone was thinking what’s with all of these QUESTIONS!!!! And why in the world would he want to know this information anyway? Can’t he just be happy he has a car?! The crowd became even more convinced as she continued to explain how she had not told anyone about her dealings with the thief and it would most certainly cause major turmoil if this inconvenient little truth were revealed.
I could see the judge was beginning to buy all of this garbage. I guess he assumed ALL people who had ever sold their cars must be in hiding. Even so I still can’t understand why he thought someone else’s choices should have anything at all to do with me getting MY car back.
I am sorry to report that I was never given the opportunity to testify and at the end of the trial the judge ruled in favor of the thief.
He said to me “listen lady I understand that this may be a hardship for you but we must think of all of these poor people who would be inconvenienced by us giving you your car back.”
And that was the end of that.
In all fairness I must admit the judge awarded me a replacement car which was to be provided by the thief but it’s turned out to be a real lemon so I am not really feeling the love.
That day I drove away from the courthouse, smoke billowing from the tailpipe of injustice, thinking of all of the millions of people who have had their cars stolen just like me. I forced the crank handle on the rusty door to turn, rolled down the cracked window and I loudly sang;
“Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am…..stuck in the middle with you”.