Know It All

There is a sad and troubling offense that we impose upon one another in this world. Among the online community of adoption talk you will find some of the worst offenders but it is absolutely everywhere. The offense is someone who purposely says things with the intention of hurting another (which is actually impossible because nobody has that kind of power over us but not many people seem to know that) . Most often these people jab and run without allowing any sort of reply or without listening and I mean REALLY listening to what the other person has to say. After all everybody wants to be heard and understood but very few of us really want to make the effort to hear and understand another. Especially if they are saying something we consciously disagree with. We build strong walls to hide behind.

The worst offenders are those who are so stuck in their fear that they CAN’T listen because they are terrified you may just make some sense. Why is that so terrifying? Because to acknowledge that they may not be seeing things truthfully would mean looking deep inside of themselves, which to people like this is the most frightening, dark and unknown place in the Universe. The thing is it is in those deep caverns of our souls that truth resides. That is why when we speak or think untruths we feel it in the pit of our stomach. Something just isn’t right and we know it but we ignore it or try to cover it up any way we can. Which is often what makes us sick because the truth always finds a way to surface. Truth is a constant. Even the most outrageous criminal knows truth on some subconscious level.

It is quite sad to me that people aren’t willing to take the risk of looking within. So often I see people use religion as the chosen wall to hide behind all the while claiming proudly that they work for God. Hypocrisy is the worst offender toward our fellow man (and ironically toward God) because even though it claims to know it all it walks in constant fear and where fear resides love cannot. If I could I would ask hypocrisy; Is God love or not?

I see the concept of God and religion often used as a way to avoid looking within. They are mistaken because to go within and touch the face of truth with a gentle hand is to really know God. It is no coincidence that Jesus, one of the greatest yet misunderstood teachers to ever walk this planet said “you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32)



Filed under Truthful Musings

17 responses to “Know It All

  1. suz

    Ttwo thoughts come to mind upon reading your post. One serious, one a bit sarcastic and silly.

    There is a good book titled “Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)” about cognitive dissonance. I read it and saw so much of the pro-adoption folks in it. Look it up. You may like it.

    And on religion, something funny I read today. Feel free to delete if it offends your blog.

    “Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.”

    (God apparently needs babies too, eh?)

  2. mia

    LOL My blog was totally offended. Fortunately I was not. That cracked me up.

    I’ll check out that book!

  3. mdiebel

    I totally agree about seeing religion used as a way to “avoid looking within”… especially as an Episcopal priest… I see it every day. And that is exactly what one might preach about… but still… people continue.

    Probably if there is any institution in the world that should not… absolutely should not… be at all defensive… it is religion. It fails again and again. And it does so in such an open to view manner (if one has the eyes to see it.)

    I will say, also, that adoption made me think that there is an invisible mom and dad… whom I knew in my limited way… and who also lived with my adoptive parents too. Invisibles are all around us and I have no trouble with that.

  4. mia

    mdiebel that must be extremely frustrating for you. As a priest how do you address this issue with your congregation? I often wonder what it would take for a global shift. The idea of putting the challenge to a congregation seems a bit less daunting but I’m sure it wouldn’t seem that way when you were in the midst of it. Many times I have trouble just connecting with one single person here on this blog. If someone is closed off they are closed off. There’s really nothing you can say or do to “convince” them. People have to come to the truth on their own. It’s just sad that they hide behind an institution that by it’s very nature should BE spiritual. But religion and spirituality through the ages seem to have become two completely different things.

    I agree, invisibles usually seem to hold the most important lessons of all. I think it would be entirely successful if everyone on the planet were to read and actively practice the lessons in the book The Four Agreements.

  5. I’ve never been sure why people can’t accept that a different experience doesn’t invalidate your own. (Then again, there are some that are so in denial that they don’t even understand what their experience actually is, but that’s a different topic.) Dismissing my experience (or yours or yours) doesn’t magically make someone else’s experience MORE valid.

    Sigh. I’ve been hitting up against that brick wall all week.

  6. mia

    Yea’ Jenna I think there are a lot of people out there who haven’t even taken the time to truly understand their OWN experience yet seem to have no trouble telling others they are “wrong” to think/feel/speak like they do.

  7. I don’t think there are two people on the face of the earth who are more different politically and religiously than my husband and I, but I dunno, we work.

    I think what happens at least for me is, if someone has a religious view that I find to be harmful, I’m simply not going to see their side. Period. And it works vice versa too, if someone feels that my views on something are wrong from a religious standpoint, no matter how much I could go on and on, I’m not going to change their mind.

    That being said, people who don’t agree with me 100% all the time are the devil.

  8. mia

    I sure am glad I agree with you 100% of the time!

    Reading your comment about you and your husband makes me pretty sure the four of us would DEFINITELY get along. We’ve got to have dinner some time.

  9. Roone

    It’s funny Mia as I was reading this I thought you were talking about me specifically wither you thought that about me or I thought it about myself. It’s kind of like sitting in church on Sunday morning and thinking the preacher is talking about me, pointing me out. Now what do I do, what if he was? My automatic response is, who does he think he is as I try to think of something I saw him or his kids do that I could point out. I can’t think of a more unfitting, non Christ like, hypocritical, ironic place to be no less than to sit in church where I should be trying to find the truth and to be batting it down like bees in my face.
    Jesus was called the light of the world and as you pointed out that he was misunderstood and rightly so, the Bible said, “they did not know him.” It’s always true about the light when it is on me and I know deep down I’m wrong, I want to hide. It exposes me for who I am. Either I can’t back up what I’m saying or I just want to protect my personal believes because they make me feel good.
    This is true with all of us at times if we are taking about religion or adoption. I think one of the biggest roadblocks is that on the surface adoption is all so good, a win win deal for everybody. Now someone comes in and sheds some light on the situation…….It’s exposed, now it has to be dealt with or a wall of defense goes up.
    We would rather stay dumb, ignorant or misinformed than to deal with the truth. What a tragedy? What do we have if we don’t have the truth? What can we fix or who can we help? I can want something to be right so much, is that going to make it right?
    As long as I say “They” all the time and not “Me” nothing ever changes. I can’t help me or anyone else. I should only care if I know the truth, not that I know it all, (in my own mind).

  10. Ronnie

    Hey how do I edit my name? I’m not trying to hide behind a false name. You know me, spelling and dyslexia……..It’s Ronnie your o’l bud.

  11. mia

    “Either I can’t back up what I’m saying or I just want to protect my personal beliefs because they make me feel good.”

    So true. Something to consider; it’s scientific fact that we attract that which we give thought to so for those of us who want to “back up” what we believe that is what we will attract even if it isn’t necessarily the healthiest rendition of truth. We will attract people who think just like we do and make words (like in the Bible) read in such a way as to validate our beliefs. I think that’s why it’s so important to be open to learning from various sources. The truth rises to the top like cream so we begin to see consistencies that make it difficult not to shift our perspective toward a clearer understanding of truth. For example that is why so many of us visit the blogs of others on the adoptive plane. It gives us the opportunity to see things from a different perspective. The same is true with spirituality. It’s dangerous to rely only on one source because it does not allow true understanding and compassion for our fellow man. We can’t honestly appreciate what we don’t understand.

    As for who this post was written for I guess you could say it was written for me. I could replace every “they” with “I” because truly I am the only one I can work on changing for the better.

    Oh and I can’t change your name but I like Roone. I think that’s what I’ll call you from now on! lol

  12. kt

    “Why can’t we all just get along.”
    – Minnie Pearl


  13. Cath

    I remember a social worker saying that “it’s OK to break the law because I am doing God’s work ”

    (by taking a baby without consent from a fit but less wealthy, non-Catholic, young, unwed couple to give to a VERY wealthy, married, older Catholic couple – who can also make a “large donation” – read “bribe” – to the “church” – read “line my pockets”)

    I have reunited with my son – neither of us goes to church anymore after what the church did to us and our family.

  14. thanksgivingmom

    Just found your blog and am loving your stuff! Awesome points

  15. Ronnie


    I want to resond to your comment latter but I’m walking out the door with my grandbaby. I’ll be busy for a couple of days but I would like to respond to you with some thought latter.

    It breaks my heart to learn of the things that you and so many have been so hurt.


  16. mia


    Cath I have nothing good to say about the Catholic Church or it’s organization Catholic “Charities”. I do however know some pretty great Catholics.
    Rev. Thomas Brosnan comes to mind:

    I think it would be impossible to find a church that was in line with 100% of our beliefs but I’m sure it’s possible to find one that is close. I haven’t yet but I would think it would be possible with some effort which I admittedly give very little of. The problem I see is that people start to blindly follow church doctrine and stop thinking for themselves. And the even bigger problem is when these same people convince themselves their religion is the ONLY religion that matters. There is way too much disrespect for other cultures and beliefs in this world which is sad considering religious myths run virtually parallel to one another throughout the ages and with just about every religion out there. One could read The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell to learn much about this.

    I’m sorry you were so hurt by the Catholic Church. You are not alone. As a matter of fact we have this in common. I find myself grateful for that experience though because it has allowed me to learn a great deal about what religion is and what it is not.

    Thank you so much Thanksgivingmom. Nice to meet you.

  17. Ronnie

    I am filled with sympathy beyond words for those of you who have been victimized by what man has done to religion and the whole purpose of what church is supposed to be about. I also feel utter disdain and anger towards those who have turned away so many from something that is meant to be a gift from God and a blessing to mankind.

    The actions of some have kept so many blessings of God from being realized. Many examples could be made but I think of a woman that swears to never love again because of getting burned by a selfish man. One might not blame a person for just walking away and saving themselves from any future hurt, even hating the male species. It happens and it’s a shame.

    Avoiding a loving relationship and the joys of a family is a tragic loss and turning away from the blessings of a loving church is more than a shame. Christ’s church was designed by God to help and comfort us in this rough o’l world we live in.

    I see all the negative junk that you see in religion just like I see what man does to relationships and the pain he causes families. I also know that if done correctly by the examples in scripture we can make it work and when it works there is no better gift from God. Real love exists in this world just as religion done right exists. Both are sadly not all so common. We have to look for both until we find them.


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