Regarding the comment on my last post. Sure, why not. I’ll give it a go……
“When you guys get self-righteous and mean, though, it pleases me to stir the hornet’s nest, to try to get you to think. It never works, but I am an optimist. I think brains work even when we don’t want them to. It sinks in somewhere and sits quietly, waiting to come out at a later time.”
I find myself wishing the same where you (and many like you) are concerned. The thing about communicating with the likes of you is that you DO take great pleasure in saying things that you KNOW will hurt us. You admittedly take great pleasure in that and quite frankly this is what makes us take you far less seriously than we would if you were kind. You also seem to come up with a different reason to object to our honest emotions (as though that were even possible) each time you comment. You change your reasoning about as much as you change your underwear. You are out there looking for a fight for no other reason than to give validity to your own unrealistic fears. Another reason I personally find it impossible to take you seriously.
“I like her stance that not all adoptees are messed up and angry and longing for their birth mommies. She provides another perspective that I find refreshing.”
Of course you find this refreshing. Why would you want to go through life thinking your own children may actually be MISSING their mother? That they may be angry about that AND be “messed up” about the whole thing because everyone around them (including their parents) in no uncertain terms tell them they are UNREASONABLE for feeling this way? Don’t think for a second that your children do not sense this even if it is not spoken.
“For those who do want to stay in contact, like my children’s birth mothers, it has worked out fine. For my friend’s son’s mother, she has sent a clear message about what she wanted the day she disappeared.”
You are right, there are plenty of mothers out there who are NOT wishing for reunion. We all know that. Many of us have actually faced that. But make no mistake; that in NO WAY removes our desire to FEEL the most natural thing in the world which is to connect in some way with the people responsible for our existence. You nor anyone else may take that from us. You nor anyone else may explain away our birthright. When you try to discredit us you only create that which you so adamently object to……….messed up and angry people. Who, by the way will (regardless of the situation) long for that connection one way or another.
I do not have any attachment as to your like or dislike of me but PLEASE consider what I have said for the sake of your children. Your goal of discrediting us only serves to discredit the little ones under your own roof.