They chose not to attend my girls dance recital again. I offered to pick them up but my mom “wasn’t feeling well.” This is the second year in a row they have chosen not to come. Last year my daughters were devastated. At least I learned my lesson and didn’t mention to my girls that their grandparents might come this year.
My mom has been complaining (news!) about being stuck in the house lately, about nobody in her family visiting with her. Now I know my mother well enough to know it has less to do with actually wanting to SEE anyone as it does about needing something to complain about. How do I know this? Because as it happens my cousins are planning to visit my aunt who is turning 90 something on Saturday. They keep leaving messages asking me if my mom is going to have a ride there. The funny thing is I have spoken to my mom on several occasions offering to take her to this thing. It must slip her mind to mention that to them.
So I called her today. Again.
“Mom I am calling to see if you would like to go to Aunt M’s house this Saturday because as I said before we would be happy to take you.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I have this terrible sore throat and I have been battling a little fever for days.”
To Self: What the hell is a “little” fever and if it’s so little why is she doing battle with it? Hey, I have to entertain myself somehow! My mother’s physical and emotional state is the EXTENT of every single conversation we have. The good news is I have cut the calls down to a couple a week and just put up with the “why haven’t you called me?” bull.
“Yes, that’s what you were saying last week. The antibiotics didn’t help?”
To Self: Of course they didn’t help because antibiotics don’t cure It’s All In Your Headitis!!!
“So what you are saying then is that you would rather not go?”
“Well I just dont think I should be around everyone with this throat.”
Me trying the voice of reason:
“Mom you have been on antibiotics for over a week now. You are not contagious anymore (Not that I thought she ever was mind you). All I’m saying is either you want to go or you don’t. If you don’t want to go thats perfectly alright I just need to know. ”
“I just can’t! I can’t. I can’t. I am so tired of the throat, the hip, the head, the ears. (My mother has absolutely no direct attachment to her own body parts. They are always referred to as “the” not “my“) You just don’t know what it’s like! I can’t stand it ANY longer!”
And then she hit me with it. The MOTHER of all selfish comments, one of the most jacked up things you can ever say to your own daughter, she says……
“Sometimes I think I should just get it over with. You may wake up one day and I’ll have just done it, I’ll get it all over with and kill myself. ”
Nice mom. Nice. You could have just said “I don’t want to go”.