By all means please go voice your opinion on THIS tripe printed in the Hartford Courant.
Filed under Adoption Politics, Adoption Schmoption, Open Records, Truthful Musings
WTF? This article goes beyond ignorance. The author shows that he is clueless beyond comprehension. The damn editorial is not even worthy to wipe the dog poop off the bottom of my flip flops.
Urg. I added my 2 cents.
Thanks for sharing this.
puhlease. i live in the state. guh.
I left a comment.
And where have you been Mia? You’ve been missed!
A real winner that one.
I feel a bit sorry for the whole lot of you, but I am frustrated too. You just don’t get it, do you? Until you make an honest effort to try to empathize with those birth mothers who really do not wish to have their privacy violated, for whatever personal reason they have, you will fail to understand the complexities of this issue from all sides. Most Americans want their privacy respected. Those who do not can sign the consent form. And I agree with the author – some adopteed absolutely cannot be trusted to respect the wishes of the birth mother for no contact. The only way to insure that the birth mother’s rights in such a case are upheld is to withhold information from those who will likely abuse it.
Andie you crack me up and I love flip flops.
Thank you Rhonda!
Suz, it is frustrating isn’t it? PA and CO aren’t any better.
Hi Elizabeth. Thanks for thinking of me. I have been busy with IRL adoption things and SO miss reading blogs. Hopefully things will slow down here soon and I can catch up with everyone.
Wraith thanks for bringing it to my attention!
Polly as I understand it you are an adoptive mother correct? Are you also a natural mother? My question is simple; why are you speaking for the feelings of others? Do you personally KNOW any natural parents that have confirmed your beliefs?
Again, again, again, equal access to factual birth records has nothing to do with reunion. Using your rational though I will say that history in open records states clearly shows that the percentage of natural mothers wishing for confidentiality is SLIM to none. How do you explain this?
You said:”The only way to insure that the birth mother’s rights in such a case are upheld is to withhold information from those who will likely abuse it.”
I have two things to say about this.
One- Again, there is no such thing as a right to confidentiality.
Two- even my own mother who is against contact would take issue with your entirely disrespectful and demeaning remark about adoptees (of which her daughter is one). I wonder how your own adopted children would feel reading that comment???
You took absolutely no exception to the blatant lies written in that editorial? Your loyalty to natural mothers everywhere is touching but I wonder where your loyalty to your children’s rights is?
Not to mention, there are already laws on the books to keep one citizen from interfering with another. These seem to work fine for the everyday citizen, why the extra layer for adoptees especially when the information sharing can actually be helpful such as knowing better medical info and history and even just knowing where you come from.
Funny how adoption is supposed to be “all about the children” until they grow up.
Polly you are the one who doesn’t get it. Unless you are adopted, YOU can get YOUR birth certificate. Why should you have more rights than I?
Natural mothers gave up ALL of their rights once they signed the proverbial dotted line. You can’t go back and indiscriminately decide to give back a right or two. Its either all or nothing. Make up your mind. Because if you give back one, then you need to return your adopted child to their natural parents.
The argument to this: You are holding adult adoptees to a contract made about them and in their best interest when they were unable to make such a contract. In every other facet of life, those contracts are ended once a child reaches maturity. But again I guess we will always be children to you.
Argue this all you want. When Oregon and New Hampshire’s statistics prove otherwise, when the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute proves otherwise, isn’t time to start taking us seriously? We do know of what we speak. In fact, I challenge to read these websites, Ms. Polly.
Rights go both ways. You can’t demand your rights while simultaneously denying birth mothers their rights. You live in the U.S. Birth mothers have the right in this country to privacy. They do not give that up when they sign the dotted line. They sign with the understanding that their privacy will be protected if they so wish. We also have laws in place to ensure that if both birth parent and child are open to it, the privacy veil can be dropped. I disagree with the position that adoptees have rights over birth mothers. That is the same attitude that says fetuses have more rights than women. It’s misogyny at its worst, and what is scary is that most of the bloggers here are women.
Sadly, it is an unfortunate aspect of adoption that the child does not have a say in it. For that I would argue for more open adoptions and more legal reinforcement for obtaining much needed medical information that a spiteful parent might withhold from an adopted child.
And I don’t consider you perpetual children, Amy, but I do consider many of you unable to see both sides of the issue. I don’t really blame you — you want your own way and other positions be damned. Most people are the same. But it does not advance the dialogue to stake out such a rigid position. You are likely to gain nothing when compromise or empathy are not words in your vocabulary list.
Folks, that’s called a troll in the blog world. Don’t bite. Ignorance is not bliss. Whomever posted that posted out of fear. Period. They are hiding behind their own fear. Fear of secrets being revealed or fear of money being lost or fear of whatever. Fear is False Events Appearing Real and sadly for them due to this they are settling for a life of lack and limitation whereas we are interested in supporting love and abundance.
Let the trolls dwell in their misery, doubt and fear. Always remember, when you fight all you will receive is fight in return. Be pro- love, prosperity and abundance – and I’ll guarantee we’ll achieve our goals. EVERYONE will benefit from it and EVERYONE will reveal the happiness that lies within us.
“I disagree with the position that adoptees have rights over birth mothers.”
We aren’t suggesting adoptees should have more rights, what we want is EQUAL rights. Last time I looked natural parents had their birth certificates.
Tell you what Anon. why don’t you just hand over your identity for the cause. Show us all how easy it is to live without one. Be a shining example for us all will you?
By the way…..that was said with a whole lot of love. ;o)
You are most definitely wrong. Natural mothers relinquished their rights. I along with all the other adoptees did NOT relinquish our rights. These rights include the right to privacy. You can’t just take away all rights but leave one or two. The right to privacy is about the right to be free from governmental interference. Not the right to be private from the very child that Natural mother and father conceived. There is no documentation EVER presented to state that natural parents were in fact promised this. Two court cases debated this issue in two states. The justices in these cases agreed with the adoptee. Get a grip why don’t ya? Quit believing the hipe of the NCFA.
also…trolls are just trying to make people think we’re crazy. Well, let me just save ya the trouble. I’m crazy and I wholeheartedly embrace it! If the status quo is to live in fear, doubt, ignorance and sadness then I’m glad to be a card carrying member of the crazy club!
Here’s to the crazy ones!
When these news articles are posted, or hearings are held, mother after mother comes forward to state they were never promised confidentiality, nor do they want it. But there seems to be some type of filtering device in place where the voices of mothers are somehow beyond the range of the general public. Odd phenomenon. Should be researched.
And I love how we’re accused of being rigid, uncompromising and lacking empathy. That gave me the giggles.
PS Great video KT
I do love that video.
I know Theresa, isn’t it amazing? That article had over fifty comments contradicting the author and speaking FOR open records. Most were made by natural mothers. I read every single comment and found one…..ONE against and they were not a natural parent. It boggles the mind.
As a bio mother (or whatever you want to call me), I was NEVER promised anonymity, NEVER expected anonymity and did NOT want anonymity.
I wish others would not speak for the VAST majority of us that want our sons and daughters to have the ability to contact us/to know information about us for whatever reason.
If you don’t believe me about how the vast majority of mother feel, then just check out this web site.
It has TENS of THOUSANDS of mothers from around the world saying what I have just said – we WANT the records opened – NOW. Most are from the US.
Can we make this any clearer?
BTW I am reunited with my son (happy reunion of 4 years). He is also reunited with his father and siblings. He was appalled by the pack of lies he was told in his non-id to hide the adoption fraud that took place – but that is a different story for another time.
As for those that say they lied about the past – sorry folks, but the law is not there to protect liars.
If you had to lie to get married, then it does not say very much about your marriage and the (lack of ) trust in your man. Honesty is the best policy.
I have always been honest with my husband and my son’s father has always been honest with his wife. Now that we have reunited, we have the most amazing extended family and everyone is happy. No secrets means happiness all around.
I also put my 2 cents worth in – but you are right that it seems that our voices fall on deaf ears.
Why is that?
One other point – I was actually promised that my son WOULD find me. I know many other mothers who were promised the same thing.
In Canada, (where they took my son), the agencies admit that they took babies from fit mothers and fathers so that the government would give the agencies their bonuses for each baby adopted out.
It’s true. One agency cannot account for almost 200,ooo dollars it paid to lawyers for apparently no work (probably bribe money). One of the agencies has admited to paying and taking bribes.
They have also admitted to running “dead baby” scams. My friend and her finance thought their son had died at birth. She thought this for 30 years. She found out by accident that her baby did not die – an agency paid her family doctor a bribe to tell her that her son had died. The “dead” baby was then put up for adoption without the parents knowledge (never mind consent). This happened all over the place in Canada. Some of those Canadians ended up in the US and they have been told that they were born in the US to stop them from looking in the right place.
That is the REAL reason that governments want records kept closed – to hide all the corruption.
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