Amy Said: You can’t go back to the blissful ignorance. I have tried but I can’t. I have
tried walking away from all of this. I am reminded time and time again why I am
doing this. I am fighting to prevent future hurt of others. Sometimes though I
wish I could go back to blissful ignorance.
You can’t go back can you? You just can’t. Once you are exposed to the truth it feels like an addiction you just can’t break free of and even if you could you’re not so sure you would want to. Sometimes you can force it down long enough to breathe for a while but it seems in our case there are constant reminders jabbing at our insides everywhere we turn. No place feels safe. Nowhere to run and hide, nowhere to take a break. So we throw ourselves into it, try to make a difference. We fight to bring understanding to the the senseless and in turn just get more fight.
I am learning acceptance, it’s just a long process with many many setbacks. But I keep going, keep finding my way. I work on understanding that my reality is that which I create. That I attract what I offer to the world. I know the more positive energy I can put out there the more will come back to me. If only I wasn’t dealing with a subject that by its very nature doesn’t make any sense at all. This truth makes the journey hard. Worthwhile, but hard and I work on seeing it a little more effortlessly.
The one thing that is making perfect sense to me these days is why someone like my mother would fiercely protect her blissful ignorance with every fiber of her being. Because there is just no turning back. It makes sense but I don’t want to live there with her. My way may take more strength but it also makes me more real.
Do you HEAR ME????