“Prepare to be Assimilated!”

Someone I shall leave anonymous recently used the word “assimilate” in a post about adoption. In a good way. (???)

My comment was “What are we, Borg?”. I found that word “assimilate” profoundly scary.

The Borg are alien beings from the show Star Trek. They assimilate other beings into their collective (or family) and actually, physically make them into Borgs. In a strange sci-fi sort of way I think assimilation is really what is expected of a child adopted into a new family.

“Resistance is futile!”

This story below circulated around the Internet a while back. It’s a cute story about a squirrel that was adopted by a dog. It’s a cute and cuddly, warm and fuzzy story. You can read it here. The dog adopts the squirrel and takes care of the little guy, she mothers him. She loves him and cuddles with him, nourishes him and helps him to grow.


That is exactly what happens to adoptees. EXCEPT, and here is the vital difference between this cute and cuddly squirrel story and real live human beings that are adopted. The squirrel was NEVER expected to assimilate himself into a dog. Why would they do that to the poor little squirrel? How could they ever expect little Finnegan (the squirrels name) to never climb trees and store nuts? We would never assume little Finnegan would be O.K. with lifting a leg to pee on a fire hydrant or play fetch. It is lovely that the little dog took care of the squirrel. We use terminology like “the dog mothered the squirrel”. We don’t say the dog was the squirrels mother because she wasn’t. That terminology doesn’t work for humans because we certainly don’t want children growing up without a mother. I certainly view my mom as my mother. I have to because it is emotionally more sound than saying she mothered me. Which in essence is truthfully what she did. She mothered me in place of my real mother who, for whatever reason, did not.

What I have a problem with is the entire world not grasping that our true identity is and always will be a large part of who we are. Sure, environment shapes us but to love us is to love ALL of who we are. That includes the parts our adoptive parents had nothing to do with. For instance our nationality, our natural talents and gifts, our looks….all comprise who we are just as much if not more than our environment does. Why then does the world “expect the squirrel to not only ACT like a dog but actually BECOME a dog?” We go through life trying to act like a good little puppy but on the inside we know something is amiss. Hey, why am I so freaking small? Why can’t I climb that tree? I really REALLY want to climb that tree! This chow is great and all but what I wouldn’t give for a nut or two.


Why doesn’t the world understand that this sort of forced assimilation just makes us feel alienated, out in the cold, misunderstood? Instead of our whole and true identity being CELEBRATED, we are forced to not only become something we are not but we are actually expected to be GRATEFUL for that. “Well just be grateful you even GET to chase cars because you could have been left for dead under that tree!”

And the worst part about impractical and very pretend assimilation? We know what we are not but we have no idea what we are. Because society has deemed us unworthy to know. We have our suspicions. We see these furry creatures scurrying up a tree trunk and we think “gee, that feels somehow familiar to me”. But when we try to express our very NATURAL DESIRE to know and embrace all of who we are we are scolded by a self riotous and demeaning society.

So we behave. But on the inside…………


Why do we want to know who we are? Well why in the hell wouldn’t we? I don’t think it is entirely unreasonable to allow me a little selfish indulgence here. For the love of GOD I am almost forty years old and STILL don’t know if I am a squirrel or a dog or what. I try to listen to my inner voice, follow my natural instincts to discover who I am but that is such an unnecessary and difficult journey when you could just TELL me!

You won’t tell me and you say it’s because you might upset the fuzzy chick in the tree that went about her life gathering nuts and being who she is. That it would upset the natural order of the universe if everyone in the tree knew about me down here playing fetch.

I tend to think though that the real truth of the matter is that telling us the truth would go against the whole unnatural and rediculous concept of assimilation that everyone (but us tail chasing squirrels) seems to think is perfectly O.K..

“Ssshhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Don’t tell the little guy he’s a S.-Q.-U.-I.-R.-R.-E.-L., You might upset the dog!” “If we keep saying it enough the squirrel will actually become a dog anyway so no harm done!”

I have to go store my nuts now. Er….I mean lick them. I have to go lick my nuts now.



Filed under Truthful Musings

18 responses to ““Prepare to be Assimilated!”

  1. This is absolutely brilliant. Now, go lick your nuts…chuckle.

  2. My dog tries to assimilate a squirrel just about every time we go for a walk. She assimilates gophers too.

  3. David Vaughan

    LOL…..funny funny funny. I hope I wasn’t the one who used that term. ???
    Just for your amusement

    and here is the video

  4. issycat

    Mia, I love you.

  5. Amy

    I know exactly who you mean. I have the strong impression that she is not what she claims to be. I’m not sure what part of her story I dont beleive but, the evidence is there. She is cracked. Who the heck has the time to sit there and think up insulting blog posts just to get people going?
    I have made a vow to totally ignore her. If I read her posts its on bloglines and not at the actual page. Shes like any other online pest. If you ignore her, she will go away.

  6. Amy

    Wow, that sounded cold and wasnt meant in any way to be. What you wrote, could have been written by my daughter. She was a squirrel in a fru fru dog house. And hated kibble.

  7. mia

    I’m on it Aurelia!

    Ron I have a friend who assimilates squirrels all the time off of his bird feeder and into dinner. (Obviously he’s not from these parts) I’ll have to let him know about gophers.

    David, NO no no it wasn’t you! lol How did it go yesterday at the hearing?!?!?!

    Issy I love you too.

    Amy I agree, there is more than meets the eye with her. I’m sorry to hear your daughter is a squirrel. I think the best thing you could do is send her loads of acorns for Christmas and celebrate her squirrel-ness.

  8. David Vaughan

    It went ok. We had some birthmothers speak who gave great testimony, the NCFA sent in Lee Allen to speak who sounded like a wounded monkey wanting a coconut, and Rep. Stam voiced a registry amendment that even he knows will not go through.
    We are concedering some compromise, the vote is this coming Tuesday.

  9. This is so brilliant. That’s what I thought too, about The Borg.

  10. I LOVE this post. Not only with cute cuddly pictures of animals, but gosh you make so much sense and you’re funny to boot. Thanks.

  11. kim.kim

    It’s like Tarzan isn’t it. Nobody thought he should be a monkey. People wanted him to go back to the humans.

    You don’t assimilate, you co-habitate. You are still you, even with a different name and deceitful birth certificate. You are just you.

    I think people should stop trying to tell you how you are supposed to assimilate your information Mia.

    I love the pictures, I’m a sucker for puppies and kittens and squirrels too.

  12. mia

    David the word comprimise makes me shudder but I can certainly understand why someone in your shoes would consider it. It is a terrible position they put us in. My fear with comprimise is that it clearly indicates that they have a case and they don’t. This is what bugs me about the “fight” for open records. It is actually a case of our civil rights being infringed upon. It has nothing to do with adoptive parents, natural parents, abortion, secrecy yada yada. To comprimise is to indicate we are asking…no, begging to be treated equally. That’s why comprimise does not sit well with me. But I am not in your shoes. I respect your efforts immensely.

    Thank you Theresa, Mama and Kim. I love you guys. Kim I loved your Tarzan analogy and the idea of co-habitation is so very true.

  13. brilliant and CUTE

    Mia has everything!

  14. David Vaughan


    The only compromise we decided on was to raise the age limit to 21. We are sticking to our guns. We have released a press release for a press conference
    NC Coalition for Adoption Reform challenges all opposition of HB445 & SB111 to allow the bills due process by letting the majority voice be heard.
    Legislation without representation brings severe hostility to thousands of North Carolina citizens based on myths and personal convictions with Tuesday, May 8th 2007 vote on HB445.
    Front steps of the North Carolina Legislative Building – Raleigh, NC May 7th, 2007 at 3pm: The North Carolina Coalition for Adoption Reform requests the media’s participation by attending a press conference to ensure this tragedy does not occur. There are an estimated 4,000 bills before the legislation, and each bill deserves due process.
    “Of the people, by the people, for the people” is what our legislators pledge to uphold, but currently this might be proven false. Those opposed to our legislation have yet to offer any proof to their reasoning for denying these bills. When this takes place, the people are not truly represented. NC Coalition for Adoption Reform challenges those in opposition to allow the voice of the majority to be heard.
    Opposition to HB445 raises concern over implied birthmother privacy rights being violated when the current statute reads:
    § 48 3 703. Content of relinquishment; mandatory provisions.

    (8) That the individual executing the relinquishment understands that when the adoption is final, all rights and duties of the individual executing the relinquishment with respect to the minor will be extinguished and all other aspects of the legal relationship between the minor child and the parent will be terminated;
    This means the parent or birthmother forfeits their rights after finalization of adoption regarding that person. There is nothing within the statute which grants any privacy or confidentiality to the person who relinquishes a child
    Birthmother Dianna Ricketts, a member of NC Coalition for Adoption Reform, testified before House Judiciary I committee to this very fact stating “…it was never implied nor expected…”
    In addition to the press conference, media packets will be available to the press. These packets contain the same documentation presented to all legislatures involved with each bill. Your participation will graciously protect our democratic values again.


  15. mia

    Thanks Joy

    David I hope you get a strong turnout both tomorrow and Tuesday! Please come by and let me know how it goes. My fingers are crossed!

  16. Rebecca

    I remeber when I found my squirrel family. It made all the craziness of trying to be a dog make sense. Awesome, awesome post. Mia, you are a genius. The pictures remind me of my family photos. Love it! Rebecca

  17. Mia

    You Go Folks!!! WOW, what a great website! Please add me to your list and tell me how to submit my story to you. Its a doozy! Adoptee, grew up in NC, and the ‘rules’ certainly need to change and the multitude of lies stopped in NC regarding adoptees and birthparents and adoptee parents rights and rules. Where is the support, the information, and please fill me in on what you have been doing. Blessings and the best, Mia (a new Mia to this site)

  18. Pingback: Myth « Mia’s Saving Grace

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