How Amazingly Beautiful

It all becomes so tiring. Trying to provide evidence regarding why it is so important to treat one another with dignity, respect and love. Trying to get people to understand why it’s necessary (to the very core of our existence) to have our true identities honored instead of hidden. Why we should strive to keep families intact. Why being disrespectful serves no purpose. How dismissing someone’s feelings as unimportant or irrelevant goes against the very nature of humanity. That not allowing someone to speak their truth because it makes us uncomfortable is just plain wrong.

How brilliant is it that we can speak to one another with compassion and respect? How encouraging that we can be open minded about someone else’s perspective and they can return that favor! The disrespect I see within the adoption community is overwhelming. Everyone striving to be right instead of simply heard. Using messages of hate to provide evidence of their “right-ness”. No single person gets to chose how we feel. You can’t explain away another persons feelings to fit your perspective, to make yourself more comfortable.

Adoption reform begins with respect. If we can’t find a way to remove ourselves from our own right-ness long enough to feel anothers human-ness the future will be dismal and positive change will never occur. Call me an optimist, call me sappy, call me what you will. But I can’t help but be optimistic about how these conversations have gone. It feels to me like we have encompassed the idea of EVERYONE holding up a sign like this….

……….and THAT is how making a difference begins.

*A special thanks to Kevin, for your amazing ideas and for guiding me to this video.*



Filed under Adoptee Family, Adoption Politics, Adoptive Family, Donor Conceived Adults Speaking Up, Natural Family, Truthful Musings

39 responses to “How Amazingly Beautiful

  1. I’ll write the song, record the song, shoot the video footage, put it all together and get it to the net….just need the participants to make and hold the signs…..interested?

  2. Mia

    Of COURSE! What is the message? Would you be promoting an open records message or an adoption reform message? Or are we giving out free hugs? :o)
    Any way you slice it I’m on board! I’m tired of “fighting” for change. It’s time to try an improved tactic.
    Who else wants to come out and play?

  3. Count me in. We’re still planning to meet in Paris, right? 🙂


  4. After reading your Exactly post and watching the Free Hugs video again (I’ve probably watched it a thousand times…it is so incredibly powerful)….and then taking the time to dry my eyes, the voice said, “write” and the following is what came out:

    The doors of life
    The whom most desire
    The knowledge that escapes us
    Due to powers beyond us

    the book of answers
    To which we seek
    To why we seek
    For the truth that we listen for

    The song of life
    To hear to the voice inside
    To hear the voice outside
    Of those who we so love

    So don’t be afraid
    We don’t wish to intrude
    We don’t wish to hurt
    We just wish for the root

    Your heart to the cry
    Your mind to the call
    Your ears to the song
    Your voice to the cause


    And don’t be afraid
    Of those who are afraid
    Just open your heart
    And it will answer you

    Open…just Open…

    I think both messages are important, obviously. When the creative channel opens, you just follow…and are grateful for what it sends. I literally closed my eyes and just wrote what came into my mind….so incredible when that is sent.

    Giving out free hugs is always a great message. my thoughts are to record a video (ala the Free Hugs campaign video) in which adoptees are shown standing in front of the camera (in places everywhere…inside, outside, work, play, streets, mountains, beach…wherever they are or wherever they choose) holding a sign in front of themselves with a self-written, short message on it….like “I love you” “don’t be afraid” “we are harmless” “I want my root”…or whatever anyone chooses….positive is the only condition…negative messages do no one good…the idea of holding the sign and the short message is that the viewer has to focus on the sign…they will read it…the person stands (or sits) holding the sign with their mouth closed (if we really want to get visual, have everyone put a piece of tape across their mouth to signify our lack of voice…). The video never states the “actual” message until the end…the song builds the tension, builds the interest…and at the climax of the song/video, the message is revealed…the end has a short statement, a web address for more information…on the website is a link to sign a petition, how to become more involved, how to help, who supports it, facts, etc, etc, etc….all this is non-profit…if somewhere along the line a profit is made, all is donated to the overall campaign (one that we start or one that currently exists)….

    We release it on the net (YouTube, MySpace, GoogleVideo and numerous other places)…every adoptee we know sends it to others, others send it to adoptees they know, members of the triad, etc,etc….viral marketing….word of mouth marketing…the absolute best kind…a HUGE underground, grassroots movement…the Free Hugs Campaign was featured on The Today Show as well as others tv programs…to get major attention we could shoot the video in public places…the sky’s the limit…actually there is NO limit….

  5. Mia

    I am freaking OUT about the limitless possibilities of this! Your idea is absolutely, positively, astronomically FABULOUS!!!!

    OMG I am JUST making the connection about who you are! Seriously Kevin it didn’t even hit me until I visited your website. This is karmic magic. Better yet-divinely inspired. Email me would you?

  6. Mia

    Paula you definintely have to be a part of this. And YES Paris is going to happen.

  7. Mia, I don’t know where you found Kevin but he is a gem or a genius or both! Love what he wrote. Just awesome. I have mountains, lakes, rivers here and would hold a sign. You tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it. Also, I hadn’t seen the free hugs video before and I cried my eyes out. Hugs, Rebecca

  8. Mia

    I can hardly sit down. This is going to be so amazing! We are a LARGE and powerful and beautiful group. I hope Kevin and I can get together soon to talk about this.

    Hysterically it occurred to me that we could just skip climbing up and out of Candy Mountain and MOVE it instead!!! I have no doubt – we can move mountains.

  9. Mia, you are wonderful and I love you.

  10. Amazing.

    Kevin – your words both rendered me speechless and filled my heart. Thank you.

    Yes, Mia – together we can move mountains. I believe that with all my being.


  11. Thank you all for such kind words. I’m merely one of all of us combined and am grateful to be the vessel in which the words and music are channeled through. We all have the ability…you just have to tune into it.

    Thank you again and here’s to Open Adoption Records! It will happen, it is happening!

    Ask, believe and receive.

    “Thoughts become things.”

  12. Christine2

    Mia- This is what I love about you – you provide a forum for everyone to find common ground. I think it’s the tone of your blog that makes this possible. I’ve just been lurking and reading over the past few days, and I have to say I’m optimistic too. We are seeing that we are not so different, life has just given us different experiences, and therefore different perspectives. But if I’m able to step into someone else’s shoes for a bit, my eyes will be opened.
    Thanks for what you are doing. This is the reason I’ve changed my opinion on: open records, the need to keep first families together, the need to create enormous change in the adoption industry re: education of young mother, money exchanged, etc. This is the reason I read you (and others like you) daily. I feel so inspired!
    (noticed there is another Christine-adoptive-mom commenting too)

  13. Does anything in the world feel better than happy tears?

    I think not.

    How do you love someone you’ve never met?


  14. Mia

    Thanks Amy!

    Christine I’m really glad you’re here.

    Theresa if there is one thing I’ve learned from my blogging experience it’s that loving people you’ve never met is EASY!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  15. reunionwritings

    I am an official member of the Mia fan club.

  16. reunionwritings

    So is my Pug, she gets in half price because she can’t hold down a job.

  17. Mia,

    Love the video…thank you for guiding us to it.

    Betty Jean Lifton said adoptees have a special gift as healers as we had so many people to heal. But I’m w/Christine…you do have an extra special gift in this area by truly trying to bridge the differences in the adoption community…which seems to be especially polorized right now….maybe because it’s becoming sorta big business/industry as opposed to just finding a good home for children w/o one, as you once pointed out…and maybe to do with what seems to be more TRA’s..don’t know…but when so many “interests” are respresented…people do LOBBY and get rather ugly. Thank you for being YOU.

  18. Mia

    My Dear Kim, pugs are free if they will wear a sign. ;o)

    Nina thank you, that was really lovely to hear.

  19. Peggy Anne

    I have known Kevin since he was in 5th grade (I was in 2nd), we grew up as neighbors and our families have stayed dear friends. I am not adopted, but Kevin (and you all as well) have taught me so much about living peacefully in this world and striving to follow our path…Thanks Kevin for the link to this blog, I needed this today…it’s a keeper.

  20. Mia

    Hi Peggy Anne! It’s nice to meet you! Maybe some day we will come up and listen to Kevin play and you and I can meet in person. I am SO excited about this project and after talking with Kevin about it at length…. even more so!
    I’m really glad you stopped by.

  21. Wow that video is awesome.

    Kevin’s song lyrics also awesome.

    Paula and Mia you are going to Paris? When?!?

  22. Mia

    LOL Oh Elizabeth I wish I could say the ticket was bought. The thing is unless we say we ARE going it won’t happen, you know? So we ARE going to Paris! All of us together. We will meet Kim and Pug for coffee. You can show us all of the really cool out of the way places to go so we don’t look like tourists. Can you tell we are all living vicariously through you for a little while? ;o) I hope that’s OK.
    Some day……

  23. LOL, ok well you had me fooled!

    I’m going every year, so just pick a year when you want to meet!

  24. Sorry – all the talk about St. Gerard’s Day for us adoptees in Paris got me wishing I was going to Paris, too! 🙂 Elizabeth – please post some pictures when you are there.

    Yes, some day. Some day.

  25. magicfingers

    Wow, love the video. Very moving idea.
    I’m making me a sign.
    I took the link here from
    “ungrateful little bastard”

  26. Mia: I love that video!

    At one time in my life I thought I was alone regarding my feelings about being an adoptee and the need to “know”.

    I AM NOT ALONE! OMFG I am not alone. I. am. not. alone.

    Horrified that so many of us have gone through similar circumstances of pain. Thrilled that we have each other.

    Kevin: Wow. Keep it going! Please. Please.

  27. Mother of addoptive children, just want to say we should be supportive of addopties we love you all and want you to find the missing links. You filled our homes and hearts with love and we owe you this. Best of all in your quest for your right to know your roots. All my love. 🙂

  28. Kevin229

    awwww……now, isn’t that just incredible? that’s my mom who posted above!!!

    Law Of Attraction….this is the right thing to do and the right time to do it!

    Thanks, mom!

  29. Mia

    HI KEVINS MOM!!!!! I absolutely love that you stopped by to say hello. It’s a pleasure to meet you Barbara.

    You guys the only problem I have at this moment is really wanting this done NOW! lol I have to keep reminding myself “its the journey”.

  30. WOW.
    I hadn’t read this post or watched the HUGS video – as I needed a little break from here. Not from you – just from the adoptee-ness of it all. The last little while has been a little exhausting. (I think you know what I mean)
    This video was AMAZING – I can’t stop watching it – and I can’t stop crying.
    (wow – it was also filmed in my old home town – Sydney)
    And Kevin’s song lyrics and video ideas are just SUPERB.
    I love that you’re here Miss Mia.
    My life is a far better place because I now know you.
    Biggest hugs to both you and Kevin.
    Poss. xxx

  31. thank you!! thank you from the bottom of my SOUL thank you!!!

    This is the first time i’ve read your blog mia, and its AMAZING. i WANT to help. ANYTHING i can do ANYTHING!!!! I have a new sony video camera that goes onto disc’s for easy transfer to the internet. ANYTHING…. just say it, i’m there. This is the BEST IDEA I HAVE SEEN IN SO LONG. Mia, you are inspirational. You and kevin are the breathe of fresh air i needed. that video has tears streaming down my face. POWERFUL. thank you.

  32. It’s EXCITING isn’t it?!!!! xoxo

  33. Add me to the list of people who cried at that video.

    Damn, but I could’ve used a free hug this weekend.


    Kevin, AWESOME idea.

    I want to be involved if possible.

  34. Mia

    Absolutely Paragraphein.

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