And Then I Wept……..

Someone visited my blog and I was curious. I don’t go looking for this stuff. REALLY! I can’t, it’s too painful. It breaks my heart that adoption has come to this.

I was under the impression the sale of humans was illegal. I must be mistaken?

http://www.rrbbs.com/cgi-bin/bbs/thread.pl?15-1126

A Step Ahead Adoption Agency…………..A Step Ahead of what? The LAW?

And the reason it was forwarded? Just wanted to put it out there???!!! Why? WHY? Of course anyone who would FORWARD something so utterly horrifying….well, I just had to go see for myself.

I think this one is my favorite:

10. Get exposure. Become an ambassador for your agency. Keep pregnancy counseling brochures in your car so you can post them at libraries and community
centers (with permission). Your own doctor can be a resource to her patients who
are pregnant but can’t parent – if she has brochures. And to stretch your geographic boundaries, post your profile online. An internet search on “adoption profiles” turns up a host of sites that match birthparents and adoptive families.

And then I wept some more…………..

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26 Comments

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26 responses to “And Then I Wept……..

  1. kim.kim

    That whole forum/site whatever it is – well I just avoid it anyway.

    I guess it’s a place they need for themselves so I don’t want to be critical but it’s not something for me.

    BUNNIES PLEEEEEEZE!!

    No more weeping, stop looking at those sites they are awful.

    You are too sensitive for those places, come to candy mountain with me and Joy……

  2. WTF??? “Be A Bit Quirky” like a picture with a caption baby’s room– marketing 101 combined with psychoterror tactics–this shit makes even cigarette marketing to children look respectable. And there are blogs and blogs of this shit out there. One couple has a cute Hawaiian room complete with crib with the title just give us a baby already! Arrrgh.

    i heart adoption,
    bijou

  3. Icky

    On one post someone was saying that primal wound and 20 things were not recommended by their social worker because they portrayed adoptees as victims

    ha
    ha ha
    ha ha ha
    hahahahahahahahahahhahaha

    and then i puked

    Candy mountain sounds fun.

  4. Mia

    Yea Kim, I can understand them needing their own space. I certainly felt like an intruder. That says something though doesn’t it? That their children, as adults, would maybe feel like an intruder?
    At least the post was questioned by the moderator but if it were my forum I would have removed that post immediately.

    I would love to join you on candy mountain.

    Bijou isn’t it sad? Marketing adoption is just solid proof that the original intent of adoption was lost long ago. I am so relieved there ARE some ap’s that get it. They visit here and give me hope.

    Theresa I had to clean my rug too. That’s part of the reason I cried. I hate cleaning up puke.

  5. BigRanch05

    I dont understand how people can be so cruel and insensetive. God forbid i ever treat anyone or anything (including my horses) this way.

  6. Yes, theresa Candy Mountain DOES SOUND fun, but be careful…

    I have to say I really don’t understand what I just clicked on, am not getting it

    I am glad the baby was VERY healthy, I would hate to think of a nice couple spending all that money on substandard product.

  7. That made me ill. $23,000? I can see why you wept. So beyond sad there are no words. Hugs, Rebecca

  8. Oh Mia P.S. Jen from the Robin Hood place was really touched that you wanted to talk to her about finding her sister. If you could please drop me an email at babygirlm1963@yahoo.com when you get a chance I can give you her address.

  9. Aww Honey, go to some of those message boards that are affiliated with international adoption agencies, especially in the former USSR countries.

    (or don’t)

    Clueless newbie PAPs post all kinds of crap:

    “What region can I find blond-haired blue-eyed babies?”

    “What region can I find Italian-looking children, and not asian ones?”

    “What country is the cheapest for healthy babies?”

    It’s like they’re shopping for handbags at Saks. Really.

  10. Oh Mia – I just can’t go there.
    I cry enough reading adoptee and first mum blogs – if I delved into THAT crap – I’d really lose the plot!!!!
    It’s a very very scary world out there.
    When is the bus to Candy Mountain leaving Kim????

  11. Yeah, that suggestion about bringing the pregnancy counseling brochures in your car with you made me shudder.

    Actually, why give them to a Dr.’s office. Why not just stop young pregnant woman at random on the street and ask them if they’re going to parent their children, you know, do a crisis pregnancy counseling thing right there, on your own? Cut out the middle man, so to speak? Think of the time — and money — you could save! HEY! I think I’ve really hit on something here! Brochures to give to potential adoptive parents, they can scope out pregnant teens, maybe lurk around high schools, and just jump out at the pregnant ones unaware. What do you think? Too unsubtle?????

    (just kidding. obviously. because . . . ewww)

  12. Mia

    Joy from what I understand there is usually a money back guarantee so no worries.

    Theresa I emailed you.

    ATM I had someone call the support group line (which clearly states we are NOT an agency) and say “ummm yea, just looking for a baby. I want a boy, not too old though and no disabilities. Please call me as soon as possible.
    Vomit.

    M2One just remember when passing out brochures to be a bit quirky and whatever you do DON’T ACT DESPERATE! They frighten easily.

  13. “They frighten easily?” Gosh, they sound like deer. Or those cute little bunnies like the ones that you made, only the living ones.

    I better not sneak up on them then.

  14. Read Best Light’s About Us page. The woman is a marketing genius. The Ten Tips to prospective adoptive parents made my jaw drop. This has NOTHING to do with giving a child who needs a home and loving parents. This is about ACQUISITION and how to make the system work for you against a backdrop of short supply/high demand for infants…preferably white children as shown along with the a-parents on the home page.

  15. rob

    Hi Mia:

    I didn’t delete the post because I thought it was provocative (in a negative way). I then forgot about the subject entirely until I read this blog entry.

    Your thought was exactly mine. This sounded like black market baby selling, and the desperation and quickness involved seemed very strange.

    But, in defense of Bestlight, she is an awesome lady, and a wonderful example for all PAPs. She is a proponent of open adoption and is the mother of two beautiful children who both have a relationship with their natural mothers (I may be wrong about BOTH children having a relationship, FYI, but definitely one of them).

    Bestlight found a niche in assisting PAPs with their adoption profiles. As adoption profiles are currently a necessary element in the domestic adoption process, I see nothing wrong with the idea.

    The alternative is an agency randomly matching natural mothers and adoptive parents, which — in my opinion — is a disservice to all involved… but especially to the children and the natural parents.

  16. Mia

    Thank you for coming by Rob. Once again I feel compelled to reply in a post rather than a comment. There are important things to be said. I will sit down tomorrow and write.

  17. rob

    No problem, Mia. I look forward to your post, and I’ll add my two cents.

    To Nina: what home page are you referring to? If it is the RRBBS homepage, I encourage you to put on your glasses (not that it should matter, but your comment was ignorant in the face of obviousness).

  18. OMG!!! I went to that website, how horrifying! I left a message there, this is what I said:

    “$22,900?? Is this baby for sale? How very sad! I thought selling babies was illegal??

    And by “this weekend”?? what the heck, what happens this weekend, and what happens after this weekend? NEVER MIND I DON’T THINK I CARE TO KNOW!!

    THIS IS HORRIFYING, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!! ”

    I too cried

  19. saundra

    To Mia and others here

    You know I just visited your site here for the first time as I guess I have too much time on my hands or I simply love to educated myself.

    I have been writing and reading Bestlight for over a year now. She has shown nothing but loving interest in others’ plights to achieve their desired fulfillment of parenting.

    Having been successful at adoption, she remembering her own story, shares her knowledge so that it might enable others to be more rapidly successful in my opinion. If she choses to charge for her services, isnt this the American Way? This enables her to stay with her children I think.

    Anyway, just felt badly that Bestlight was misunderstood. I admire her greatly.

    Saundra

  20. Mia

    Hi Saundra,
    Thanks for stopping by. You may want to read the reply post and comments. Of course you are entitled to your opinion either way.
    I hope you have a great evening!

  21. saundra

    I just read your reply to Bestlight on RRBBS and find it fair enough. I had 4 sons, but got involved in Adoption issues because of one of my sons involvement in the adoption process. I have found Bestlight to be most helpful and sincere, and being a mom, I had to defend her.

    Having just turned 60, I have earned the right to be there for those I care about. 🙂

    And a pleasant evening to you.

  22. Theresa said: “On one post someone was saying that primal wound and 20 things were not recommended by their social worker because they portrayed adoptees as victims”

    Wow, “20 Things” not recommended – that’s fluff compared to some other books with hard-hitting truths. “20 Things” should be required reading for PAPs – there’s no victimizing in that book – only common sense reading for those who want to help their children.

  23. Rob said: “Your thought was exactly mine. This sounded like black market baby selling, and the desperation and quickness involved seemed very strange.”

    It does, it really really really really does. Anyone involved in adoption should have realized that. As much as I think adoption and many of the agencies involved need major reform – I am soooooo glad mine was through an agency and I wasn’t sold on the internet.

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