I don’t watch a huge amount of TV but there are a few shows that I watch regularly. I love Boston Legal, Greys Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters and The Office (for much needed comic relief). For as little as I watch though it always amazes me how much adoption related issues permeate the airwaves. Maybe not directly adoption related but the residual scum of society’s views on the Bastard Club (or BC) of which I am a card carrying member.
On Brothers and Sisters the main family finds out upon the death of their father that he had an affair with a woman for some 20 plus years. The woman has become a main character in the show, even making her way into the family business (yea right) . Recently it was discovered that this hussy and the adulterous schmuck had a child together! GASP!!!!!!!!!!! I really don’t think she’s a hussy nor he a schmuck but it adds dramatic flair don’t you think? Although, I suppose if it were my husband involved I would have used a far stronger word than schmuck. ANYWAY, the love child of this illicit affair has made her way into the story. Her name is Rebecca.
So I am enjoying the show on Sunday and toward the end one of the brothers is talking with the mistress about going into business with one another (yea, right) and in walks Rebecca. This poor girl has been lied to her entire life regarding her father’s identity so she has no idea that she is standing before her brother. As a matter of fact when he leaves (without saying a word about it) she comments to her mother how CUTE he is. Ugh. BC members: this is where we do our official club move-The Furious Forehead Slap.
Now of course I am super sensitive to this whole lying about identity thing. And keeping secrets? Forget about it! Here is this poor unsuspecting girl walking around with the bulk of those she associates with KNOWING more about her than she does about herself. One would THINK this is just good TV drama, but alas it definitely is not. It happens every single day. I am Rebecca.
As the show ends they play previews of next weeks episode. It goes something like this; “NEXT WEEK ON BROTHERS AND SISTERS…..A SECRET IS REVEALED THAT COULD DEVASTATE THE FAMILY AND TEAR THEM APART FOREVER.”
Never mind that the mother already KNOWS about the affair, oh no, it’s the GIRL that will devastate the family. Tearing the foundation of their existence to the ground. This eighteen year old, beautiful girl is the secret with the power to destroy. Not the affair. The girl.
This infuriates me so much that I throw my entire bowl of popcorn at the television, screaming, ranting, throwing a hissy fit the likes of which have not been seen since………..well, yesterday………when some other equally infuriating situation captivated my attention. Wasting a perfectly good bowl of Pop Secret makes me think I should really consider becoming a Prozac princess, but I digress.
At what point did we as a society think it was OK to take the bulk of blame off of those directly responsible for their actions and place the weight of the matter squarely on the shoulders of the innocent? When my own mother told me she was advised to abort me but chose to give birth to me instead, I thought (among other things) that she was seeking praise for making the right choice. It’s not that I am ungrateful (heaven FORBID) for her chosen option but I have to wonder if that was meant to completely eradicate the former choice she made….you know, the one where she has sex? And at what point do her choices become my burdens to carry?
As for the rest of you non card carrying members- All of society has deemed illigitimacy to be some horrifying disease. If you don’t believe me just watch the face of someone who happens to get a glimpse of my Bastard Club card which I proudly carry in my wallet. Sometimes I whip it out at parties for the shock and awe factor. Nothing livens up a party like an outed bastard! I think that’s why Secrets and Lies is the motto for the BC. The rest of society is trying NOT to give us an opportunity to make them squirm in their seats. Again it would seem others choices have become my burdens. Yes I am talking to YOU non BC member! It IS a choice to deem bastardy a disease. Have you actually heard any one of us say: “Please save us from ourselves!” ” Make us legit!” Ummmm…no.
When can we look forward to these bastardly burdens to begin for us? I will tell you. It is the day we are born. On that day our foreheads are stamped with an invisible BC symbol. It’s special ink, only BC members can see it. This way we don’t walk through life making non-members uncomfortable unnecessarily.
Bastard Club members take heart! I believe in all honesty non-members give us this brand on the day of our birth with the true intent of generosity and kindness. You see the brand is to act as a bullseye so we can more easily learn the official BC move. They must know that we will be furiously slapping our foreheads for the rest of our lives.
Now don’t you feel special!