Fat Cat

Before I have even had my coffee……………

my evil cat img_0028.JPG

(pictured here playing happily with kitty #2 among the newspaper from the unwrapped ornaments)

started making this guttural yowl and just when I turned the corner to follow the blood curdling freak out he opened his mouth and proceeded to projectile vomit all over my dining room. I’m not talking about a little puke. I am talking about the kind of scene that would make Linda Blair run away screaming in terror.

I am happy to report kitty is purring happily on the couch gratifying himself in a way only a cat can do so all is well.

Except-

I hate puke. I could never NEVER be a nurse. The sight of vomit makes me double over and gag so fiercely that it is not uncommon for me to end up contributing to the pile if I am forced to clean it up. It’s not pretty. I’m out of paper towels. The puke is still sitting there. I am afraid. Very very afraid. You are probably thinking that it is entirely nasty to leave it there but it’s only been like five minutes and I am wasting time trying to build up the courage to face the unavoidable. I mean I COULD leave it for my husband to clean up but that would be hours from now and someone might step in it. I know it needs to be done but OH THE TORTURE!!!

Hmmmm…how to waste some time? OH, I know. How about some pictures of my Christmas decorations? I love Christmas. I am Martha Stewart on steroids when it comes to Christmas. It is not the kind of decorating that looks like Santa threw up in the yard (while were on the subject) but it comes close.

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We have two trees, one tree downstairs with family ornaments, train etc…

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and one upstairs I get to decorate any way I wish. Hubby calls it my foo foo tree. Whatever. This year I did like an old fashioned Christmas theme with vintage Santa postcards, snowflakes and prism lights. It looks cool.

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I want to get to baking now. I bake a TON of cookies during the holidays. Biscotti, snowballs, shortbread, you name it I’ve baked it. I put on some festive music, pour myself some Pennsylvania Dutch Eggnog and really have great fun with it all. Of course ANYTHING would be fun after drinking Pennsylvania Dutch Eggnog.

I would like to bake today. I cant bake knowing there is cat puke in the dining room though. That doesn’t really say CHRISTMAS now does it? Oh FINE………..I’ll go clean up the puke. Maybe I should skip the coffee and have some eggnog instead! It’s five o’clock somewhere right?

Wish me luck.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Fat Cat

  1. Oh geez, I am sooo with you on the puke. I can deal with poop, I can deal with pee, but puke and doggie eye boogers send me screaming from the room.

    Luckily I have a hubby who doesn’t care so much about that stuff. We compliment each other perfectly. LOL

  2. Poop, pee, puke, you name it and it doesn’t bother me! Then again, IM A NURSE!!! Glad you finally got it cleaned up… hope you didn’t gag the whole time. Love your decorations! I want to take pictures of mine too but haven’t had time yet. Soon though!!

    Ryan

  3. MaeDay

    Oh dear….gotta love the cats.If I can get away with it, I’ll avoid doing anything about it, hoping hubby responds to it first.
    I’ve been known to approach vomit with paper towels first. (hides it don’t you know) Then after several minutes I get up my nerve to reapproach it, start scooping up the stuff and washing like mad. (using diluted vinegar and soap) Lastly topping off the area with a liberal spraying of Lysol.

    Your Christmas decorations look lovely. Deck the halls with lots of baking….yummy, yum, yum.

  4. I am happy for the person who developed frebreze for it has made this former cat owner happy. Its nice to hear we are not the only one who named their fat cat: “Fat Cat” ๐Ÿ™‚

    I wish you luck as you journey through your living room at 5 a.m….that your feet stay dry!

  5. Thanks Atilla…doggie boogers, I needed that image.

    I can’t wait to see them Ryan!

    Thank you MaeDay I think vinegar is a good idea.

    Actually LeRoy we have two cats Pumpkin and Lucy. Lucy is just incredibly fat and SUCH a princess. Pumpkin is the one who puked but I could not resist the evil cat photo. Come to think of it the fat cat title very well could have been stuck in my brain after reading your touching post. We often call Lucy fat cat though – among other choice titles. lol

  6. I can only imagine what those other titles may have been mia. We had another cat we called “Dingy”, short for “Dingbat” and she was a puker too. We tried everything to help her from changing food, medicine from the vet and the whole nine yards. It may just have been nerves, She was always hyper, the exact opposite of “Fat Cat” who was laid back. Ever notice how spouses are in some ways just opposite of each other too? ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. I’ve got two pukers too. Tragically, my sickly cat (who pukes at least once a day) actually puked in the bed the other night. It was a really bummer. He usually has the good sense to get off the bed, but I think he may have been trapped under the covers. He ate a little piece of plastic.

    Our other cat pukes if she has to wait more than five minutes to be fed. I believe her thought process goes something like this, “Hi! You’re up!! That’s great! Are you going to feed me?? Where are you going??? Oh god, I’m starving!!!! I’m living off my fat!!!! Oohh!! This is it!! It’s all over!!! HHUUURRLLLL!!!!” It’s all horribly traumatic for her.

    Good luck cleaning it all up–I usually leave it for the better half. I’m a horrid human being.

  8. I’m cool with puke, our cat is like a veritable puke machine. But cat pee – oh, no.

    I thought the green lights in the kitty photo were Christmas lights, LOL!! I didn’t realize they were his eyes until I enlarged it – evil indeed!

    Love your decorations, please come do mine!

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