Sent

Hi E,

This is a link to a Good Morning America interview I think you will find of
interest:

http://www.abcnews.go.com/GMA/Books/story?id=2234195&page=1

I just finished reading this book. I wanted so much to send it to you, to make
you aware of the fact that you are not alone. That there were millions of
understanding and supportive women out there, women who get it. I am just not
entirely sure you would read it if I sent it though so I am sending you the link
for the book. Then the choice will be yours.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594200947/sr=8-1/qid=1154606272/ref=pd_bbs_1/1
02-2157554-8752166?ie=UTF8

An article I would very much like you to read. Not because I want to place
unnecessary guilt on you, simply because I really want you to know my reasons
for searching were not out of the ordinary. It would help me to know you
understand, even if you are not able to comply with my desire to know you.:

http://e-magazine.adoption.com/articles/783/a-birth-mothers-obligations-to-a-rel
inquished-child.php

There is a world of women out there just like you who talk to one another:

http://www.bmom.net/

I hope you find value in some or all of the information I am sending. I wish you
well.

Always,
Mia

I have had this poem framed and hanging in my home for five years~

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache
for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking
like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if
you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by
life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to
hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with
wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know
if you can
disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of
betrayal
and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And
if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at
the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want
to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and
bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know
if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to
know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the
company you keep in the empty moments.

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18 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

18 responses to “Sent

  1. Joy

    O-M-G

    Feels good to be brave hunh?

    sending you lots of good cheers
    Rah Rah Rah

    much love

    joy

  2. Mia

    Honestly Joy I am a little sick to my stomach. It’s nerves and wondering mostly. The fact that it’s around ten thousand degrees probably isn’t helping much.

    Your encouragement is so very appreciated!!! Thank you. xoxo

  3. Joy

    Feeling a little sick to your stomach, and doing something in you believe in anyway,

    I think that is the definition of brave.

    The truth will come out, it fights it way to the surface, whether we like it or not

  4. Bravo Mia!

    You’ve done well!

    “To thine own self be true.” You’ve done that, and you should be proud.

  5. Mia

    Yep. Like John Wayne said; Courage is being scared to death but saddeling up anyway!

  6. suz

    OMG. I love Oriah! Have you read her books? Did you know that was in my about section on my typepad? and also on my myspace? very cool.

    knew we had great things in common.

    good for you for sending it.

  7. I’m so glad you sent it. I hope it your letter will touch her heart as it did mine. I hope it will help her to see that having you in her life is just what she needs.

    I love your poem. So touching. it made me cry.

    You are truly a great person who deserves answers for all your questions.

  8. Mia

    Thank You Sheri. I hope so too. I am hoping she at least read it, maybe saved it, I just hope she didn’t delete it.

    Suz I did know that actually. I thought I had commented about it but that was a long time ago. I had the poem hanging right next to my front door for a LONG time. It is absolutely amazing and could not be more perfect for my situation with E on soooooo many levels. I love it’s raw, straight forward honesty. I will have to look for her book!

  9. Keeping you in my thoughts, girl!

    xoxo

  10. Mia, just want to say that I hope hope hope that your letter touches E as it’s clearly touched everyone who’s read it. Fingers crossed for you and her!

  11. Scary and brave, reacing out is so worth it. I hope you get a good response.

  12. Mia

    I got no response, but I tried.
    Thanks for the encouragement!

  13. I was also thinking she might not want to be labelled as a birthmother. I really don’t feel comfortable with that label anymore.
    Plus saying there’s a world of women like her out there who want to talk to her – like she’s not got it all together like we have or something?

    Have you just straight out exposed your soul to her and told her how desperately you want her to let you in? Stupid question, of course you’ve tried everything.

    My mother is weird with me, she only wants contact so she can fuck with my head.

    I’m sorry she doesn’t meet you halfway Mia, that’s just so utterly unfair and frustrating.

  14. Mia

    Kim honestly I don’t think the label even crosses her mind. I could be wrong but I would bet she doesn’t know there is an alternative to the term. Honestly I am coming to despise the term birthmother myself but just can’t seem to find an alternative that feels right for me quite yet. I don’t think it matters one iota to her though.

    That was sort of my point. To let her know that she is not alone. I didn’t come out and say she doesn’t have it all together (even though let’s face it she doesn’t) I just wanted her to know there was support available to her if she chose.

    As for exposing my soul….let’s just say I have done that till’ it bled. She told me once that she found it very selfish of me that I sent such heartfelt letters instead of just the basic contact information.

    In a situation like this I don’t think the form of communication I chose really matters. I think it’s her wishing I would not communicate at all that is the point.

    I’m sorry your mother treats you like that. What a horrible thing.

  15. I wish she would be more like us mums who blog and dote on our reunited sons and daughters.

    I’m sorry about my mum too Mia, what can we do?

  16. Mia

    I wish I knew Kim. I wish I knew.

  17. That poem is beautiful. The last line, “I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments,” is the most powerful of all!

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