Loggerheads

I watched Loggerheads last night. It wasn’t what I expected. I guess more accurately it wasn’t what I had hoped it would be. It was a good movie for sure but I felt if they were going to do a movie of this nature I would have hoped it would have been made more painfully clear what birth mothers go through, more painfully clear how difficult it is to obtain information for all of us to find one another, clearer picture of why we search in the first place.

Of course they touched on all of these things and it was easy for me to add a lifetime of emotion to each character but I don’t think that will be so easy for the general public. I think this movie could have been another voice for us and we all know how big the hammer needs to be to hit the nail on the head of this subject to get people’s attention.

I wanted a MONGO tear jerker. I cried more when I watched Antwon Fisher. Is this because I am an adoptee? Perhaps birth mothers found Loggerheads more profound than I did?

I didn’t like the steriotypical “unstable birthmother” (no separation for the steriotype here Kippa, I understood what you were saying and respectfully make the separation now. Thank you!!!) portrayal in Antwon Fisher but the necessity to find our family was made abundantly clear! Although I could certainly see how devastating AF would be for a birth parent to watch because it touched on a child who was abused…..I assume this is a birth parent’s worst nightmare. But again I think they did a marvelous job of clearly portraying the reasons why we search.

Don’t get me wrong, like I said I got the hugeness of the scene when Bonnie finds the courage to pull out the adoption papers and reads through it, daggers through her heart. I felt her pain as she sat on the stairs telling her completely detached mother how much she wished she could go back and tell the young girl that was her that she was beautiful. OUCH!!!!! Why she HAD to visit the beach and the turtles her son found so important.
But my point is would someone with no daily connection to our world truly understand?

There was one very real moment in Loggerheads when Bonnie Hunt is sitting in the office of the adoption agency that was completely profound and touching. The woman explains to her that the laws are in place to protect her anonymity but then goes on to explain the laws are in place to protect the adoptive family from……………….her.

We all know what a load of crap the excuses are but something about hearing them out loud like that just made my skin crawl. It seems so utterly rediculous I can’t believe this arguement is what is winning the opposition their case against open records. WTF!?!

I would be interested to hear what the rest of you thought about this movie. Do you think it did justice to your journey? Do you think it will be effective in helping people understand?

OH and BIG, HAPPY AMAZING news……………

My husband told me last night that he was having a conversation with an adoptive father. They adopted a boy from Mexico. J told the dad that I was adopted too. They talked about the reasons why people choose international adoption and other pretty intimate stuff which surprised me and made me thrilled that they could talk like that, in such an open way.

Then…………my husband……asked him if they had their son’s birth certificate. The father responded that yes, they did. AND MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND who HAS been paying attention said “Do you have his REAL birth certificate with his MOTHER’S name on it?

WEW HEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Even more cool is that the dad said they did have their son’s OBC and seemed supportive and great about the real world of adoption. Yea for him, yea for my husband, yea for that little boy!

One victory at a time.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Loggerheads

  1. suz

    I am interested in this movie but for some reason I cannot consider watching it. I am pretty raw lately and avoiding too much adoption related stuff. I cycle through it. Times when I can deal. Other times when I cannot. I appreciated your commentary though.

  2. thanks so much for reading my blog. haven’t seen loggerheads…erm, haven’t even heard of it (?). i’ll put it on list of films to see because i’m a sucker for catharsis. the opennes of the adoptive family your husband questioned is really refreshing. yes, opening the mind and heart, one at a time. slow process.

  3. Mia

    I can relate Suz. Everyone needs a break every now and again.

    Deke it was my pleasure.

  4. I can’t stand to watch movies where you already know it doesn’t turn out well—you know, like Titanic, or A Perfect Storm.

    I’d read a lot of advanced press on Loggerheads, and although I’d really love to support the filmmaker, this is another one I don’t think I’d be able to watch.

  5. shadow_dancer

    I saw the movie Loggerheads a couple of months ago and thought it touched very well on important triad issues. I thought the gay themes were perhaps a little too heavy at times as it distracted from the story.

    Was indeed a sad ending.

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