Adoption-Ism

Everybody needs a break sometimes. I really don’t want to feel as though the whole adoption issue invades my every waking (and dreaming) moment but in a way it does. Sometimes you just want a reprieve! There doesn’t seem to be an escape from the subject though and that’s more than a little frustrating at times.

A TV show, a novel, the Readers Digest, doesn’t matter where you turn there it is. I guess I’m glad that the topic is getting out there and being discussed but the picture the media paints isn’t always completely accurate now is it? I wonder if that does more damage than good.

I’ll give you an example of a day in the life of me not escaping adoptionism (like my new word? Say it with me now; ADOPTIONISM!!!)…

I read an article in the Readers Digest while drinking my coffee yesterday morning about a man who searched for his institutionalized sister after his parents death. It was a heartwarming article. It would appear that records of institutionalized disabled people are not always legally available to siblings. How frustrating for siblings who wish to pursue a relationship with a brother or sister and cannot/will not be told where they are! Again, there seems to be some privacy issue involved?!? Maybe not an adoptee issue in the direct sense but of course the similarity is too close not to make me sad.

My day continues in the capacity of domestic goddess and as all good stay at home moms do I took my afternoon hiatus to bask in the glow of my super clean castle while stuffing my face with bon-bons. OK, truth be told I flopped on the couch surrounded by a pile of laundry to be folded as big as Mt. Everest.

Here is the part where I must sheepishly admit that I like to watch ATWT. Yes, that’s right I watch a soap. My mom got me hooked years ago and that’s all I have to say about that. Anyway, they are doing a storyline about an adoptee who searches out her birthaunt after she learns that her birthmother has passed away. Oh bother, on my SOAP? Come on. Of course she finds her birthfamily because one of the nuns at the orphanage has a conscience and just gives the information up. I know it’s a soap and all but I was really hoping they would tell a fairly accurate story. No such luck. Who knows, maybe sisters of the orphans all over the world watch ATWT and are divulging information on the sly as we speak! LOL

No rest from “adoptionism” yet but it’s only lunchtime.

My neighbor called and we were talking about their family’s upcoming trip to Mexico. Very sweet family, very giving souls. The trip is not about sand and sun. They are off to spend a week at an orphanage run by their church to help spruce up the place a bit etc…

Maybe I am not as much a glass half full kind of person as I would like to think I am because I was wondering to myself what it must feel like for orphans to see these loving families interact with one another just to see these same families leave to go back to their normal family lives and the child remains. She said that families go there all the time so they are pretty used to it but I think to myself that wouldn’t make it any easier if I were all alone at the end of the day. I bet I am way off base and the children love the company of new faces making their world brighter. I mean what’s the alternative no visits at all? Of COURSE it’s a blessing in their lives to have these volunteers come! See, thinking too much again.

Homework, dinner, dishes, baths, all the chores done for the day and my babes are safely dreaming in their beds. Finally an hour for J and I! We make popcorn and snuggle on the couch and flip through the channels for some mindless show to watch and unwind. Desperate Housewives seems to be the ticket.

On the show Zack is speaking to his dad about his natural parents.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!

He wants to know if he looks like his mother and is hungry for information. Dad shuts him down telling Zack it’s not polite to speak about it. I had to actually laugh, that’s one I have never heard before!
Then Carlos and Gabriella are discussing her infertility. She suggests adoption and Carlos is like I’m not raising anybody else’s kid! She says well how about a surrogate? At least the kid will look like us!

OUCH. ouch. ouch.

J looks over at me knowing that had to suck for me to hear. I just shook my head. It’s not like we could change the channel. Olympics-Toby, 20/20- probably an interview with Angelena or Sharon.

HELLLLPPPPP …….It’s an invasion…..it’s, it’s, adoptionism……there’s no essscaappppeeeee!!!!

Is it any wonder I go to bed and dream about it?!?

I suppose spending time writing about it here isn’t helping any is it? I would like to think though that this time is in some way soothing the monster that IS adoptionism.

My daughter is in the living room dancing to the Wiggles. Sounds like fun, maybe I’ll join her. But I tell you this if any one of those freaking Wiggles even thinks about bringing up the subject of adoption I will not be responsible for my actions!

Until tomorrow then.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Adoption-Ism

  1. LOL! ( either that, or for crying out loud ) there is no escaping, Adoption-Ism.

    Form one nmom who gets really sick of it too.

    Lady

  2. Sorry but that made me really laugh. A few of us have made some posts that we need a bit of a break from adoption. But here I am reading your blog while taking a break from adoption…..err….

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