Choices

Last night I was watching Boston Legal. I usually don’t like shows of this nature but Boston Legal is fantastic. They fight causes with brilliant defense and the one liners are over the top funny.
For example the ultra conservative and slightly loopy Denny Crane says “if all else fails and you have lost just ACT like you have won! Hey, it works for our President!” lol

There was a case last night about the morning after pill. A young teen had been raped and her physician failed to give her all of the options in what the pill could offer due to his religious convictions that this pill was a method of abortion. It was brought to light that the morning after pill is a form of contraception and can NOT terminate a pregnancy. I know nothing about this pill but if that’s true the arguement that it is an abortion pill is an ignorant arguement at best. In any case I was convinced by the arguement and cheered when the teen was awarded a whopping 2 mill.

I am a rebel with too many causes. It’s brain frying sometimes. This particular issue brings about tides of conflicting emotions for me. I wonder how many others feel like I do. On the one hand I am very much pro life. I mean I’m an adoptee, it would be contradictory to my life if I were not. On the OTHER hand I am very MUCH for a woman’s right to choose what she does or doesn’t do in regards to her body. I firmly believe that the government has no place in this process, nor do “well meaning” doctors who fail to do their job properly by presenting all medical options to their unsuspecting and possibly naive patients.

It is possible that I am the product of a rape. If so I am not alone out here, there are others. I am grateful that my mother made the choice to carry through with her pregnancy obviously but I’m glad she had a choice. Yes, before you start yelling SHE said she had a choice.

It was a tough process trying to separate my identity from my conception when this possible scenario was presented to me. I say possible because I have serious doubts now as to the validity of the story but that’s another matter. Basically I was told you are the product of rape. It has nothing to do with who you are but stay the hell away from me all the same!!!

I get the whole bringing up of bad memories and emotional strain, really I do. Way more than I am willing to share with the world. I in no way wish to diminish the atrocity of rape. My opinion here has to do with me, right here right now and the fact that sometimes in life you just have to suck it up, be uncomfortable for a little while and DO THE RIGHT THING!!!! If it isn’t about me then don’t make it about me. Find a way to separate the actual event from the miracle that rose from the ashes would ya’? If you simply cannot do this then at least honor us by understanding what this truth and your denial for even minimal contact has caused us to go through. Sit with it a moment, please.

Well this was a drawn out way of saying that even though I enjoyed the show, champion the cause, enjoy it’s victories, there is a part of me that feels huge amounts of pain when I hear words like rape and abortion thrown into the same sentence. It brings me right back to that place of confusion and pain where my self worth, my very being is concerned.

If a mother is faced with a potential reunion that she cannot emotionally handle so be it but let’s get it out there what their decision causes for the relinquished person. All choices have consequinces. Proceed with caution and as with all things make sure your decision is made with all of the facts in place. What are the consequinces of your actions? What you can or cannot live with then is at least honest. I could respect that.

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