My goal here is to find a way to invent closure and apply it to a situation that was never resolved for me. How do you close something that has never been opened?
I have waited around for almost six years, hoping my birthfamily might have a change of heart and want to meet, or perhaps dare I say it, get to know me. I feel like the Elephant Man (or woman in this case) screaming “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!” How pathetic.
I despise living in this “Oh gee I really do HOPE they will throw me a bone” place. It makes me feel like some sort of charity case. If I am needy enough I might just get a little tidbit. I don’t do victim very convincingly.
I am not by nature an angry person. In fact I feel like I am pretty positive most of the time. You would think that being an artist would make me see all the colors of the rainbow but I tend to look at things in Black and White. It is what it is. You are my mother (yes it is possible to have more than one. You can never be loved by too many people!) I am your daughter, no circumstance of life can complicate this fact. It is what it is. I despise denial.
I may not have been owed a relationship but I feel I was owed some sort of acknowledgement simply out of respect.