Hellenlishly Funny

I am seriously considering asking dear Helen if she will adopt me.

Celeb Adoptomania and Moronic Adoption Language

I wonder if people truly realize how insulting the following language is to someone who is adopted. Based on comments I have received my whole life I know most people will read it and just get lost in the vision of the end result (I’ll take the Happy Family platter please). Sadly I think very few would understand how this whole thing comes across to an adoptee;

“The couple has come to a conclusion after several attempts of having a baby together. The 30 year-old {Ashton} Kutcher and Demi Moore, 40 have been together for six years and married for three and no baby was on his way even with in vitro fertilization.”

This is my personal fav;

An insider disclosed that “They had always resisted adoption because they wanted a baby of their own, but now everything has changed.”

And now for some completely worn out adoption ideology;

Kutcher has openly revealed that he and Demi have been considering to adopt an orphaned child together. “I have thought about adopting a kid my whole life,” he admitted, adding “When I was eight I had a friend called Terry and one day he told me he was adopted. “

He, furthermore, stated “He said his parents told him there was a more special bond between them because they picked him. I thought that was pretty profound and I would be open to the idea.”

Here is what I read;

Due to many failed attempts at harvesting from their very own orchard and with deep regret they resign themselves to do the next best thing- harvest elsewhere. Feebly disguised as a ride on the “Save An Orphan Train”, their ultimate goal is to procure a replacement baby. They plan to PICK one this summer.

And people wonder why we feel second best.

Sean Goldman

“It is like a nightmare for David Goldman, except that when he wakes up, it is still there. His son Sean, abducted to Brazil by the boy’s mother four years ago, remains almost in sight but always out of reach, in defiance of the laws of two nations and the world.”

“Goldman had been traveling to Brazil for every court hearing that ruled against him over the years. He went again, only to discover that his late wife’s Brazilian husband had filed a petition with local family courts to remove Goldman’s name from Sean’s birth records and replace it with his own.”

“Now, the question is how a person who is not related by blood to Sean can erase Goldman’s name from his son’s birth records.”

That is an excellent question NBC. An excellent question indeed.

Bring Sean Home.

“Hater” is kind of strong don’t you think?

I was going to let it go too. But everyone knows no self respecting hippie-type can be called a hater and let it go. I am all about the love man!

Apparently all of the attention you received from all of us ingrates has caused you much wailing and gnashing of teeth. It’s not easy seeing being green. Before your personal blog was protected from the wolves I could see that you definitely have people in your corner. There was a lot of this; “oh dear don’t let the haters get you down” and “they’re just bitter, angry adoptlings who come from gawd awful situations” and “you are a good parent (pats on the head) so don’t let anyone tell you different because you are doing God’s work” bull. As though this has anything at all to do with what kind of parenting skills you have.

You see it really doesn’t concern me how often you volunteer at your kids school or how many brownies you can bake in a day and I don’t hate you, I don’t even know you. I do have a huge problem with the business you are in though and THAT I will not mince words about. Like I said in my comment section nothing pisses me off more than people selling babies in the name of God.

I see the two “non-profits” you work for (run by Malcolm and Amy Young) also have a blog to further advertise their marketable product. I see that there you can also get up to the minute “situations” so I guess it’s good to check back regularly?

Here are just a few of the situations available next month;

African-American Boy, 2/17/09,SC, $21K

African-American Boy / Girl Twins, $33K, 2/1/09

Yes, I did notice that you get a discount if you buy two.

Be sure to ask about the minority discount!

I do have a question though. Is publicly advertising an infant for tens of thousands of UNNECESSARILY CHARGED dollars and basing that price tag on race considered human trafficking? I guess not as long as you throw in the word Christian.

Obviously my friend what I have failed to recognize is that if you preface your business with the word Christian and throw in some key bible verses for good measure all of this blatantly obvious marketing of human beings miraculously becomes- God’s work.

So sorry to have hurt your feelings my dear. Please go about your BUSINESS! And now that  you know I don’t hate you please do try to get some sleep.

Situations?

*Thanks to Linda Gambino for drawing this to our attention.

Whenever I read anything like this I am certain it must be a scam because nobody in their right mind could EVER find these “situations” even remotely ethical enough to actually USE an agency like this. Because if they DID use an agency like this they would not be able to sleep at night. They would all die of sleep deprivation. So surely it MUST be a scam. Right? RIGHT?

A Path of the Heart

She actually states in her blog “One of the main reasons we turned to CAC to help us adopt was because we wanted to be sure we were using ethical agencies.”

With that ironic/moronic statement under your belt take a look at this:

Christian Adoption Consultants

They also run this agency-

Hope For Adoption

Dude, sleep much?